Chapter 10

Patrick drove home from the rink after practice relieved to see that there seemed to be no hard feelings between him and Kaner. He figured now that they’d come to a mutual understanding on where the line should be drawn as far as the pranks went there wouldn't be any more problems. He and Tazer wouldn’t screw with Gabrielle, and he in turn wouldn’t screw with their families.

Now that he was thinking about the situation, he was thinking about Gabby. He should see if she wanted to have dinner with him this week. Probably Thursday with the way their schedule was. He made a mental note to call her later when he knew she’d be home from school.

He got home and started up a game of fetch with Dudley. Like usual, after only a few throws, Dudley tired of the game and flopped down next to Patrick on the floor. What a lazy dog. He rubbed Dudley’s stomach and wondered if Gabrielle liked dogs. Somehow he felt like she would. For all he knew, she had a dog herself. He just hoped she wasn’t a cat person. He wasn’t a big fan of cats.

Dudley rested his head on Patrick’s lap and let his eyes close for a nap. Patrick decided that seemed like a good idea and got up to take one himself. He let Dudley jump up on the bed next to him and curl up near his feet. He wondered if that would have bothered Gabrielle. Once again he figured she wasn’t that uptight.

Then he realized something. He was suddenly wondering how many of his habits would annoy Gabrielle. He’d never done that before. He could have cared less with every other girl he had dated. To him, they’d have to get used to it and if they couldn’t, then see ya. This time he found himself caring. He may not know her all that well, but there was just something about Gabrielle.

He fell asleep wondering if that was a good or a bad thing. When he woke up it was dark out and he shut the drapes and turned on some lights. He checked his almost bare cupboards and refrigerator for something to eat and saw that he had nothing. Like he usually did he picked up the phone and hit the speed dial to his favorite restaurant.

When Patrick was done eating he cleaned up and sat down on the couch. He glanced at the clock and decided that now was as good a time as any to call Gabrielle. He paused and went over in his head what he wanted to say. The other two times that they’d had dinner she’d kind of left it open for him to do so. He hadn’t called with the sole purpose of asking her out like he was this time. When he was satisfied with what he’d come up with he called her.

“Hey, can you hold on a minute?” Gabrielle answered, breathless.

“Yeah, sure.” He waited and listened as Gabrielle yelled at someone.

“Are you kidding me right now? Why the hell would you do that?” she screamed. He wondered what was going on.

“Is everything okay?” he asked.

“What? Yeah, it’s just a bad…..Loxley, stop! Don’t move! I’m dropping the phone for a minute. Hold on.”

Patrick listened to the phone clatter onto something, probably a table. He could hear Gabrielle uttering a string of curses in the background. He wondered who Loxley was. Did she have a guy over? A student? It was kind of a strange name, but the way people were naming kids these days, you never knew. A few minutes passed and he wondered if she’d forgotten about him, but then she picked up the phone again.

“I am so sorry about that,” she apologized.

“What was going on?” Patrick asked curiously.

“Oh, my dog knocked over some paint and managed to walk through it. He then decided to go on a tear through my entire apartment. I now have a tie-dye floor in one room and multi-colored paw prints through the rest of it. This is going to be a bitch to clean,” she explained. Loxley was her dog, he realized with relief. Then he smiled, glad to know he was right in assuming she was a dog person.

“Oh man, I’m sorry,” he told her.

“It’s okay. Not your fault.”

“What kind of dog do you have?” he asked.

“A mutt. I have no idea,” she told him with a laugh. “So what’s up?” He suddenly remembered why he’d called and realized that he completely forgot what he wanted to say. Just get to it, he decided.

“I wanted to know if you were free to have dinner on Thursday.” She didn’t respond right away and he wondered if that was bad.

“Patrick, I have to be straightforward about this. Are you asking me on a date or just a friendly dinner?”

He was caught off guard by the question. It was his turn to pause. He had two options. He could say as a friend and see what her reaction was or he could say on a date and see what her reaction was. She’d either be happy or bummed out by either one. He liked 50% of the options. He would have preferred a higher percentage.

“Neither and both I guess. I just want to get to know you better.” He tried to stay neutral and see what she said. He knew what he was hoping to hear.

“Okay, yeah, I can do dinner.” He smiled taking that as a good sign. Then his smile faded. “I should warn you though that I’m not exactly up for dating, so if that’s your intention then maybe it’s not a good idea.” She’s not up for dating? What did that mean?

“No, that’s not my intention. Like I said I just want to get to know you.” He lied. Just a little.

“Okay, then dinner it is.”

They made plans and then hung up. He couldn’t help but feel disappointed and confused. He still couldn’t figure out what not being up for dating meant. Had she just gotten out of a relationship that had ended badly? He figured that must have to be it, because he couldn’t figure out what else it could be. He knew he’d picked up on the vibe that she liked him too, unless he’d been wrong about that. Was that it? Had he read her wrong?










I hung up the phone and sighed. Why did I do this to myself? I liked him, I know I did, but now that I was positive he had an interest in me too, I was panicking. Then without thinking about it, I’d done what I always did. I tried to push him away. I groaned and got up to start attempting to clean the mess that Loxley had created.

Less than 10 minutes into the project I was upset, frustrated, and confused. Before Patrick I had never had a problem keeping people an arms length away from me, but this time it was tough. I barely knew the guy and yet there was something about him that was getting to me.

All I knew was that he deserved better than me. A guy like him didn’t deserve to carry around my baggage. Usually that’s what I said about everyone I met, but this time it was even more necessary to keep him away from it. He was one of the leaders of the city’s hockey team, and a public figure here. If people found out about my past they’d look down on him. I couldn’t let him go through that.

I fell back on the floor and leaned against the wall. This was bad. Really bad. It had been so easy every other time to just walk away. I didn’t know why I was feeling so stressed about this time. What was Patrick doing to me? I needed someone to talk to, and there was only one person in the world I would trust to have this conversation with.

“Hello?” the woman’s voice answered after just two rings.

“Olivia? It’s Gabrielle,” I told her. Olivia had been my school counselor. She’d taken me in when I’d lost everything and had saved my life, literally.

“Gabrielle! It’s great to hear from you. How are you?” she asked. I could feel her smile through the phone and hearing her voice calmed me immensely.

“Not good,” I mumbled.

“What’s wrong, sweetheart?” she asked. I felt a tear slip down my cheek and wiped it away.

“There’s this guy, Patrick, and I really like him,” I started.

“Gabrielle, come on. Tell me what’s going on,” she prompted.

“I don’t know what to do, Olivia. I don’t know him that well, but he’s so different than anyone I’ve ever met. We’ve gone out a couple times, but I just can’t anymore.”

“Why not?”

“He doesn’t deserve everything I’d do to him.” She sighed.

“What do you like about him?” she asked. I closed my eyes and thought about it.

“He’s funny. I’ve never met anyone who can make me laugh the way he does. He’s sweet and caring and compassionate. He’s intelligent and interesting and-"

“Okay, you like him,” Olivia joked, cutting me off. I laughed too.

“That was never the issue,” I told her.

“You said that you’ve only been out a couple of times?” she prodded.

“Right.”

“You’re freaking out over nothing, sweetheart.”

“How can you say it’s nothing? If he even knew about my past I just know he’d look at me differently. I’m damaged goods, Olivia. I’m scarred.” I felt more tears start to fall when I said that.

“Scars are just testaments to the tough things we’ve had happen and have persevered through. They give people character and make them who they are. Without those scars you’d never be the person you are today,” she said.

“Even so, it’s not fair to him.”

“Listen to me, Gabrielle. That’s completely up to him to decide. At the same time, you’re rushing yourself. You said you’ve only been out with him a few times. No one else has to divulge their entire background in a few dates, so neither should you. First thing is first. If you like him then you owe it to yourself to see how things go. If down the road you decide that you really care for him, then and only then do you have to decide what to tell him. Until that moment comes just enjoy yourself.”

Olivia was right. She was always right. I was panicking way too early. Maybe things wouldn’t work out with Patrick down the road and he’d never have to know about my past. Or maybe I wasn’t panicking too early. There was another problem.

“There’s one more thing,” I began.

“What is it?” Olivia asked.

“He’s a public figure. If someone figured out who I was and told him about me before I did…..” I trailed off, leaving the rest of the sentence up to Olivia to figure out.

“What kind of public figure?”

“He’s a professional hockey player.” I heard her laughing and a smile broke out onto my face. I began to laugh too. Go figure, me dating a hockey player.

“If he’s not going into politics then no one’s going to care what your past is. If they truly like him, then they’ll respect who he chooses to spend his time with, and that includes you.” I released a deep breath, and smiled again.

“You never fail to make me feel better, Olivia,” I told her. She laughed.

“Now that we have all that straightened out, indulge on old lady. First tell me what this Patrick looks like and then tell me about the dates you’ve already had.” I laughed again. Olivia was and will always be my savior.