Chapter 39

I've been working on this chapter forever and I still don't feel like I got it right. It feels like Gabby is too bitchy and bitter, but I guess she has a reason, right? Oh well, here it is. And if anyone cares, the song for this chapter is Bridges by Lifehouse. For some reason I couldn't get it to upload so I just wanted you to know.




















I woke up in the morning to see Patrick sitting in a chair next to me, asleep in an uncomfortable position. I had no idea how long he’d been here, but I knew that he’d hardly been away from my side for the past three days. All except yesterday, when he’d been gone for most of the afternoon.

We hadn’t talked much, not about what really mattered anyway. He hadn’t asked what was going to happen with us when I got out of the hospital, and I hadn’t initiated conversation either. It wasn’t that I didn’t want to tell him how I felt, that I didn’t want to apologize, it was that I was scared that despite the fact that he’d been here, he wouldn’t forgive me.

He began to stir as I watched him. I smiled when his eyes opened and he glanced over at me, like I was his first thought upon waking up. He smiled back when he saw me looking at him, grinning like an idiot.

“Good morning,” I joked as he yawned and stretched out.

“I was tired!” he defended himself. I felt my mood darken slightly.

“You don't have to be here all the time you know,” I told him. His smile faded too.

“I know that.”

Those words hung in the air, the real meaning behind them going unspoken, but clear as day. We were both quiet as we kind of took it in, wondering who was going to speak first, what we should say. We had to talk. It had to happen, and now was as good a time as any. I just wasn't used to talks like this. I finally opened my mouth to say something when the door opened.

My mouth closed quickly as my eyes widened in complete shock. I could feel my heart start to race as I saw who was in the doorway. I squeezed my eyes closed for a moment before opening them again and seeing that what I had seen was not a hallucination. They were really standing there in the doorway to my hospital room. I just didn't know how that was possible.

I swallowed what felt like a basketball sized lump in my throat as they took a few steps into the room. Then I watched as my parents looked from me to Patrick. They gave him weak smiles and nods and he returned the gestures. What the hell was that?

“Hello, Patrick,” my father said to him.

“Sam, Vanessa,” he returned. I looked between my parents and Patrick, utterly confused. How the hell did they know each other. What was going on? “I'll wait outside.” I watched as Patrick stood up from his seat and walked out of the room, giving me one last glance before he did.

“Oh, Gabrielle,” my mother sighed when the three of us were left alone. I clenched my jaw, fighting the urge to just tell them to get the hell out, to not even pretend that they cared I was laying in this hospital bed.

“Are you okay?” my father asked. I choked back the laugh that threatened to leave my mouth.

“I'm in the hospital on strong painkillers with a couple fractured ribs, a concussion, stitches in my face, and recovering from a rape. Other than that, I'm just fine,” I responded.

My words had their intended effect, on my mother at least. She let out a gasp, covering her mouth with her hand. My father stood there, his face like a statue, not displaying any emotions. Something he'd learned in politics that he now used on his own daughter like I was a stranger.

“What are you doing here?” I asked.

“We came to see how you were,” my mother said, her voice shaking slightly.

“Now you've seen me.”

“Gabrielle, please,” my mother begged.

“Please what? Be grateful that after 10 years you showed up for once?” I was past being diplomatic when it came to my family. They'd inflicted so much hurt, even after all this time. I knew I'd never fully heal if I couldn't tell them how I felt.

“Don't talk to your mother like that,” my father scolded me, like I was still 8 years old.

“Mother?” I laughed derisively. “Mothers don't abandon their children when they need them. Neither do fathers now that I think about it.”

“I told you this was a mistake,” my father said, turning to my mother who looked like she was about to break down.

“Can't handle the truth, Dad?” I asked. He turned back to me, a glare fixed right on my face.

“Let's go, Vanessa,” he ordered. I wasn't done, however.

“Wait, please. You came all this way. We should have a talk.” My father shook his head and took my mother's arm, pulling her toward the door.

“Sam, wait,” I heard her say to him. He looked like he wanted to argue, but thought better of it and turned back around. My mother turned her teary gaze back on me. “Say what you have to say.”

I took a moment trying to figure out exactly what I did and didn't want to say. I hadn't had time to prepare, to think this out. I didn't want to just go off on them. I wanted to let them know effectively what they'd done to me. I wanted them to see that I'd turned into a good person, and I'd done it without them. I wanted them to see what they'd lost. There was just one thing I had to know first.

“How did you know Patrick?” I asked.

“He came to see us yesterday,” my father replied.

I was surprised by that since Patrick hadn't said a word. Why hadn't he told me what he was doing, even if it was after the fact? Why had he done that? Those were questions for him however, and right now I had my parents to contend with.

“I spent my whole childhood wishing that you both would love me even a fraction as much as you loved Rachel and Bailey. I felt then that you didn't, and I know now that you didn't. Even so, I did everything I could think of to prove to you that I was worthy of love, that I wanted nothing more than to have you proud of me.”

“You had a funny way of showing it,” my father interrupted. I narrowed my eyes at him.

“You know what? When being good didn't work I thought being bad might be how I'd finally get your attention. I'd spent too many soccer games and concerts looking into the crowed to see the empty space where you two should have been. I figured it was easier to ignore the good things I did than the bad, so I rebelled. I did it on purpose just so you'd notice me.”

I took a moment to let that sink in. I watched as my mother's expression transformed from sadness to surprise to understanding. I looked at my father waiting to see what his reaction would be, but it was stone cold. There was nothing in his eyes that told me he gave a damn about what I was saying at all.

“When you kept ignoring me I did things that were worse hoping they would work. Eventually I got out of control and I couldn't stop. I needed help. I'd never needed you more than I did then, and you still ignored me. All you cared about was your stupid public image and not your own daughter. I was beaten, raped, and pregnant as a result and you weren't there. I got clean for Quinn and then overdosed after a panic attack and almost died. Your response was to kick me out instead of getting me help. What kind of parent doesn't even try?”

“Until you raise children, you can't ask that question,” my father said through clenched teeth.

“You wouldn't let me raise my own! You took her from me! Maybe I wasn't ready to be a parent then, but I changed. Olivia took me in, sent me to rehab and to school. I cleaned up, I got better. I made something of myself and you ignored every phone call, every letter I sent trying to tell you. I went through family counseling sessions without family, had no one there for either of my graduations, and had no one to call when I got my first job. I stopped trying after a while because I realized you would never be back in my life. I accepted that. You never cared about me or loved me, and that's fine. I survived and I became a good person without you.”

Telling them all this was draining. I could literally feel my energy just leaving my body at every word I spoke. Oddly enough though, I didn't want to cry. No tears threatened to fall and I figured that was a good thing. I was now officially over my past.

“Look around at everything in this room. This is how much I mean to the people I have in my life now. I don't need you to be happy anymore, because the people I have in my life now have shown me what real love is. Love is filled with laughter, caring and charity, not faked obituaries.”

Finally there was a crack in my father's shell. It was slight, but I saw the flash of embarrassment in his eyes and the twitch of his mouth. So he did have a soul. My mother on the other hand was visibly crying now, hit the hardest by my last sentence. I wasn't happy to see her cry, but they had to know what they'd done.

“Thank you for coming to see me. I really do appreciate it. I'll never forget it.”

My mother looked up at me through wet eyes and looked like she wanted to say something, but my father didn't give her the chance. He took her by the arm and led her out of the room. I watched them until they disappeared from view. That was when Patrick came back into the room.

“Are you okay?” he asked. I thought for a moment and then realized that I was smiling. He looked at me strangely as my smile continued to grow bigger.

“Yes, I really am.”

Chapter 38

Patrick left the hospital room to give Gabby some time alone with Olivia. She’d just gotten into Chicago this morning and he knew that Gabrielle was going to need to talk to her. He got onto the elevator and took it down to the first floor before walking outside and pulling out his phone. He’d been granted time off from practice today and tomorrow at least to stay with Gabrielle while she was in the hospital. He’d promised to give an update and he left a message on Tazer’s phone.

It was cold outside so he made his way back inside and went to the cafeteria. He wasn’t hungry, but he grabbed a coffee and sat down to drink it before he’d start to make his way back to Gabrielle’s room. It had been hard for him to see her lying in bed looking the way she did. That bastard Vince had done this to her a second time. He wanted to kill him. However, he knew that he needed to leave this to the police. If Quentin was telling the truth, Vince wasn’t going to be getting out of jail when they caught him and sent him back.

There was however, some people that he could blame. He had half a mind to go to St. Louis right now and knock on their door to tell them exactly what he thought of them. He knew he couldn’t, but it didn’t stop him from wishing. He just couldn’t imagine cutting your child out of your life to the point that you hide something that could potentially end in their death. Then again, he supposed they had already killed her once already.

He finished his coffee and made his way back upstairs to Gabby’s room. If her and Olivia were still talking, then he’d just wait in the lounge that was provided on the floor until they were done. When he reached the door he saw that there were more people than just Olivia in the room. Upon closer inspection, he realized it was Paige, Isaiah, Gia, and Nathan.

“And see, I got a B on my English essay,” he heard Nathan announce as he handed something over to Gabrielle.

“That’s great Nathan. I’m glad your grades are going up in that class, but are you enjoying reading any of the books you’ve been writing about?” she asked him.

“We’re reading Heart of Darkness right now, and I actually really like it,” he told her. She smiled at him.

“Heart of Darkness is a great book. I’m not surprised that you like it. And what have you been up to?” Gabby asked, turning to Gia.

“I think I’ve got most of my portfolio done for college applications,” Gia said. Gabrielle’s smile grew when she heard that.

“Any chance you have it with you and I can look at it?” Gia beamed at Gabby’s interest and produced the portfolio from a bag she was carrying.

Gabby started to flip through the pages, offering up encouragement and praise as she went. It was amazing to him. Gabby had just nearly died, she was stuck in bed in a hospital, and she was still finding ways to be there for her kids. He just didn’t know anyone else that would do something like that.

The sight in front of him spoke volumes. He knew if she had the choice she wouldn’t want the kids to see her like this in the hospital, yet she cared enough to swallow her own pride so they could come and see her. It was also telling that teenagers were even making time to go to the hospital to visit her. She obviously meant a lot to them too.

He didn’t really need to see this scene to know that. The fact that her room was filled to the brim with stuffed animals, cards, and bouquets of flowers from his teammates and their families, faculty from the school, and even parents of students who had come to see her showed him how much she was loved. It made him even angrier at her family.

“I have some stuff to do today. Are you going to be okay without me here until tonight?” Patrick asked her early the next morning. She gave him a look that told him his concern was unnecessary.

“I have Paige and Olivia to stay with me, along with all the hospital staff, and the rotating cast of police at my door,” she assured him.

“Okay, I’ll be back tonight.”

He turned and walked out of her room and then the hospital. He got into his car and drove straight to the airport. Gabrielle would kill him if she knew what he was doing today, but he had to do it. He couldn’t just sit by and let her be treated the way she had been. He checked in, went through security, and then waited at the gate for the plane to St. Louis to board.

He’d practically begged Quentin for Gabby’s parents’ address. He’d finally caved and found it for him. Patrick had immediately booked a flight with the information in hand. The flight was only about an hour, so he had plenty of time to get to St. Louis, talk to her family, and then fly home in one day.

The plane touched down and he headed straight for the line of taxis. He rattled off the Tunney’s address and went over what he wanted to say in his head for the billionth time. It was all he’d been able to think about since yesterday afternoon. He was dropped off at an enormous estate. Gabby wasn’t kidding when she said she came from money. He walked up to the door and rang the doorbell. It was answered by a housekeeper.

“Hi, I was wondering if Mr. and Mrs. Tunney were at home,” he told her.

“Can I ask who’s calling?” the women questioned him with a wary eye.

“My name is Patrick Sharp. I’m a friend of their daughter’s.”

At the mention of a relationship to one of their children, he was ushered inside and led into a room that probably was only used as a formal sitting area to entertain guests. He almost felt like he should be taking his shoes off and not sitting on the furniture. The housekeeper told him the Tunney’s would be with him shortly before she left him alone in the room.

He took the opportunity to look around him. There were many pictures along the mantle of a fireplace in the room. Most looked like pictures of Gabrielle’s sisters. Not a single one held Gabby’s image. He clenched his jaw and had to force himself to calm down. It was then that he heard footsteps coming into the room.

“Mr. Sharp, I’m Sam and this is my wife Vanessa,” Gabrielle’s father introduced them as he walked in. Patrick shook both of their hands and forced a smile onto his face.

“Please, call me Patrick.”

“Okay, Patrick. Please, have a seat,” Sam said, gesturing to the chair behind him.

Patrick obliged and sat down opposite the Tunneys. He got the impression just looking at them, that Gabrielle’s father took control and her mother simply stood there smiling in silent support of her husband. She seemed more a trophy than a spouse.

“Thank you for inviting me into your home despite never having met me before.” Patrick figured it was best to start off on the right foot so he’d be able to say all he planned on saying before he was asked to leave.

“That’s not a problem. Can we get you anything? A drink perhaps?” Vanessa asked, speaking up for the first time. Patrick assumed that it was her job to offer the comforts a guest might want.

“No, thank you.” Before the conversation could continue, a white blur sped into the room.

“I finished my spelling. Can I please go and paint now?” a little girl asked.

Patrick was taken aback by the sight of the young girl. It didn’t take a genius to know that he was looking at Quinn. She was the spitting image of Gabrielle. They had the same hair color, the same eyes, nose, and mouth. Even the little giggle she emitted after asking was identical to a laugh he’d heard come out of Gabrielle. And she liked to paint.

“Quinn, honey, we have company,” Sam prodded. Quinn turned her eyes to Patrick and gave him a polite smile. “This is Mr. Sharp.”

“Hello, Mr. Sharp,” she greeted him. It seemed too formal. She seemed too formal.

“Hello, Quinn.” She then turned her eager attention back to her grandparents.

“Why don’t you go on up and change into your art clothes. I’ll come up when I’m done down here to get your supplies,” Vanessa told Quinn. She let out a little squeal of delight before turning and bolting from the room.

“That was our granddaughter, Quinn,” Sam announced.

“She’s beautiful,” Patrick responded truthfully. Part of his heart ached knowing that he’d seen and spoken to Quinn when Gabrielle hadn’t since she’d left 10 years ago.

“So did you say that you knew Rachel or Bailey?” Sam asked. Here we go, Patrick thought.

“Actually, I know Gabrielle,” he replied. He watched as the smiles faded off of both of their faces. He knew he’d caught them completely offguard, and he felt a little satisfaction in that.

“We haven’t spoken to Gabrielle in 10 years now,” Sam told him, his expression dark.

“I know that. Gabby told me all about her past,” Patrick responded.

“So what can we do for you?” Sam questioned. Just get it out, before they have a chance to kick you out, Patrick told himself.

“I just thought that despite not speaking to her, and going so far as to kill her in a false obituary that you would want to know that she’s in the hospital. She almost died the other day, for real this time.” He could see that his little shot had gotten to both of them. His anger threatened to boil over, and he had to struggle to keep it under control.

“What happened?” Vanessa asked, a hint of a tremor in her voice. Based on that tremor, and the look on her face when he’d announced why he was here, he thought maybe Vanessa and Sam weren’t on the same page when it came to Gabby.

“Do you remember the name Vince Dodds?” Patrick asked. Vanessa let out a small gasp at the sound of his voice. “It seems that he was released from prison and despite being told she’d be notified, no one ever told Gabby. He found her, and raped and beat her, almost killing her in the process.”

“We’re very sorry to hear that. Thank you for letting us know,” Sam said.

Patrick understood a dismissal when he heard one. He got up from his seat and made a move to leave the room, and Gabrielle’s parents behind. When he reached the entryway to the room he paused and turned back. He wasn’t done, even if they didn’t want to hear it.

“She’s not the same person you kicked out 10 years ago. She got clean, went to school, and got a degree. She’s a school psychologist helping students in any way she can. She cares more about those kids than herself. She’s sweet, kind, funny, loving, and remorseful. Everyone who meets her loves her. She’s the most amazing person I’ve ever met. It’s up to you what you do with this information. I just wanted you to know that she’s made amends. Have you?”

He didn’t wait to hear or see a reaction if there was any. Instead he headed for the front door and let himself out. He called another taxi and met it at the end of the street. The taxi dropped him off at the airport where he waited until he could board a plane back to Chicago. Once back he drove straight to the hospital and walked into Gabrielle’s room, feeling so much lighter than when he had left.

“Did you get everything done?” she asked him. He smiled before bending down and placing a soft kiss on her forehead.

“Yeah, I did.”

I feel like I'm always apologizing

No, I have not forgotten about Patrick and Gabby. There's still so much for them to go through coming up, but life has gotten in the way of writing it all out and sharing it with you all. I'm so sorry, but hopefully I'll have an update up sometime soon. Thanks for your patience!

Chapter 37

Patrick practically leapt out of Tazer’s truck before it even came to a complete stop. Even so, Tazer was hot on his heels as he ran into the hospital. He’d called Quentin Monahan back on his way here to find out what room Gabrielle was in. Now he was weaving through people to the elevator that would take him to her floor.

He and Tazer both stood impatiently as the elevator seemed to stop on every floor on the way up. When they’d finally reached the floor they both ran out and headed straight to where Patrick could see Quentin standing outside of a room. Quentin glanced up at the commotion in surprise only to hold his hands out to slow the two of them as they approached.

“Where is she?” Patrick asked in a panic.

“In the room behind me. Whoa, hold on. We need to talk,” Quentin said, holding out a hand to stop him from rushing in.

“Let me just see her!” he insisted, desperate to know if Gabrielle was okay or not.

“Sharpie,” he heard Tazer whisper as he placed a hand on his shoulder. Patrick let out a deep breath but then nodded.

“What was Gabrielle doing at her apartment?” Quentin asked. Patrick’s eyes widened in surprise. Her apartment? Gabrielle wouldn’t have gone to her apartment.

“What do you mean? She was there?” he asked. Quentin narrowed his eyes a little and nodded.

“You didn’t know that she’d go back there?” Patrick shook his head.

“We got into a fight. She moved out of my place a week ago. She told me she was staying with a friend. I have no idea why she’d go back there. She knew it was the one place Vince could get to her.”

“You two had a fight?” Quentin questioned. Patrick suddenly understood what was going on and held his hands up in self defense.

“Hey, am I a suspect here? I was out all night. I was with Tazer here,” he said pointing over at him. Quentin sighed.

“No, you’re not. These are just standard questions I have to ask. We talked to the neighbors. Apparently Gabrielle had been living in her apartment for the past week,” Quentin told him.

Patrick felt sick. She’d lied to him. She’d lied right to his face about where she’d be staying when she walked out. It was part of the reason he’d let her go, because he thought she’d be safe. To think that she’d rather be alone in her apartment while Vince was out there and could easily get to her instead of be with him hurt more than anything else had ever hurt him before.

“A neighbor heard crashing coming from Gabrielle’s apartment and knowing what had happened before called the police. Whoever was there was gone when they arrived, but another neighbor had seen a man with a ponytail and facial hair that he’d never seen in the building before walking down the hallway just before police arrived,” Quentin continued.

“I can’t believe she’d do that. I don’t understand. Is she going to be okay?”

That moment was just like a bad TV show. It was like how just as someone happens to mentions something, something related to that statement miraculously seems to happen at that exact moment. Suddenly there was a sort of alarm going off from the room Gabrielle was in and nurses and doctors began to rush in, pushing them all out of the way. Patrick watched from the window as Gabrielle was surrounded by them.

He couldn’t see what they were doing to her. He had no idea what was even wrong. All he knew was that Gabrielle was in the hospital and something was happening to her right now. He watched in horror as the doctors yanked the bed away from the wall and pushed it out of the room. He watched helplessly as they pushed her unconscious body past him and down the hall towards the OR.

“No. Gabby, no,” he managed to choke out, covering his face with his hands.

Tazer helped him to a chair in a waiting area where he sat and stared at the floor, rocking, shaking, and wringing his hands nervously. He couldn’t lose her. If anything, this had shown him that he needed her in his life. He didn’t know how he’d go on if she was gone. He waited in silence, even as a few of his other teammates showed up to wait with him.

A doctor walked out and immediately made his way over to Quentin, who had stuck around as well. Patrick figured there’d at least be one cop here at all times to look out for Vince in case he’d decided he hadn’t had enough. It didn’t occur to him until this moment that maybe they were waiting to see if they were going to charge Vince when they caught him with battery or murder.

“What’s going on? Is she okay?” Patrick questioned, making his way over to the doctor and Quentin.

“She’s stable. Her brain was swelling and she wasn’t getting enough oxygen so we had to remove a piece of her skull and relieve the pressure. It seems to be under control. We’ll have to wait and see on the rest until she wakes up,” the surgeon explained. It all sounded horrible to Patrick, but there had been two words he hadn’t missed.

“She will wake up?” he questioned.

“We can’t know for sure. There was a lot of trauma to the head, but she seems to be a fighter. I’m optimistic that she will, but the longer she’s unconscious the less likely it will become.” Patrick nodded and let out a deep breath.

“Can I see her?” he asked.

The surgeon led him and the group of his teammates who were here with him to another room. They were informed only one person was allowed inside at a time, but that wasn’t an issue. Only Patrick was going to go in, the rest of the guys were just there as support. He was told what to expect to see when he went in, but it didn’t take any of the shock away.

Gabrielle was lying there with a bandage wrapped all the way around her head. Her face was swollen and all different shades of black, red, and purple. There were stitches in her left eyebrow and cheek, and her lip was split. If they hadn’t told him it was Gabby, he might have had a difficult time recognizing her. He sat down in the chair next to her and grabbed her hand.

“Gabby, it’s Patrick. I’m here, Babe. I’m going to be right here until you wake up. I don’t care what happened with us a week ago. I just need you to wake up. I need to see those beautiful eyes again. Do me that one favor and please wake up soon,” he begged. He didn’t know if she could hear him, but he talked to her anyway.

“Excuse me, Mr. Sharp?” a woman’s voice called to him from the door. He turned to see a nurse standing there motioning for him to follow her into the hallway. He gave Gabrielle’s hand a kiss before doing just that. “There is no contact information for Miss Tunney and I was wondering if you knew about any family we should inform.”

“No. There’s no family. I mean, she has them, but they don’t speak and haven’t in 10 years.” The nurse nodded and made a note. Patrick suddenly remembered something then. “Wait, there is someone. Olivia. She took Gabrielle in when her family kicked her out. She’s like a mother to her. I have her number.”

Patrick pulled the number up on his phone and gave it to the nurse to copy down. Once she had he went back into Gabrielle’s room to wait. He wasn’t going to leave this room again until she woke up. It didn’t matter how long it took, he wasn’t leaving, because he just knew that eventually Gabrielle was going to wake up.










I could faintly make out a beeping sound that seemed to get louder each beep. I couldn’t figure out what it could possibly be. Then the foggy feeling struck me. It was a strange feeling, one I couldn’t figure out either. The throbbing came last. It wasn’t necessarily painful, just unpleasant, and it seemed to me that it might hurt if I didn’t feel like I was so out of it.

I struggled to figure out why the hell I felt like this and what the hell was beeping as I began to open my eyes. My first instinct was to close them again as soon as the light hit them, but I had to figure out what was going on. I forced my eyes to open, batting my eyelids a few times to try to help the process.

“Gabby?” I heard a voice say. I felt someone squeeze my hand and I turned my head slightly to see who was there. The pain that shot through me at the movement told me what a bad idea that had been.

“Patrick?” I asked, the voice suddenly recognizable.

“Oh, god, you’re okay.” Okay was relative at this point in time, I thought.

“What’s going on? Where am I?” I asked, his face coming into view.

“You’re in the hospital,” he told me.

Before I had a chance to ask him what had happened there was a flurry of movement and I saw more people enter the room. Patrick backed away as the doctor and nurse approached me. I was asked a few questions about how I felt and I answered them the best I could. Finally I had my unspoken question answered.

“You were attacked last night,” Patrick told me as I looked up at him. I could see Quentin standing beside him.

“I was what?” Someone had attacked me?

“Do you remember anything?” Quentin asked. I closed my eyes and tried to think, to remember. My mind drew a blank and I opened my eyes to tell them.

“No, I don’t…..” Suddenly I had a flash of memory. “Oh, Jesus, it was Vince.”

“Are you sure?” Quentin asked. Was I sure? Was what I was remembering from last night or from the time he’d attacked me before?

“Yeah, I think so.” I pictured Vince in my mind and tried to figure it out. That’s when I realized I was picturing Vince with a ponytail and facial hair, neither of which he had when he’d first attacked me. “Yes, it was Vince.”

“Can you tell me what happened? Anything you remember?” Quentin prodded.

I closed my eyes again and struggled to remember what had actually happened. I told him what I could remember, and some of his questions prodded new pieces to pop into my mind. I watched as Patrick’s face twisted into shock and anger as I talked. He looked ready to kill somebody.

After I finished telling Quentin all that I could remember I began to feel tired. I knew from my previous experiences in the hospital that it was probably from the drugs. Quentin left the room and Patrick sat down in a chair next to the bed. I looked over at him and our eyes connected. I could see the worry in them.

“You’re here,” I finally managed to choke out, tears filling my eyes.

“Of course I am. I couldn’t be anywhere else right now,” he told me.

I did my best to smile over at him as he gave my hand a squeeze. I wanted to stay awake, to talk to him, but my body had other ideas. The last thing I remembered thinking was how happy I was that he was there by my side.

Chapter 36

I walked out of Paige’s after giving Loxley a long hug. I missed not having him around all the time, but I hadn’t wanted to risk anything happening to him if Vince got to me. Now I may not have to worry about that anymore if tomorrow went the way I hoped it would.

I was still planning on going over to Patrick’s in the afternoon. I fully intended on groveling at his feet and begging for him to forgive my momentary lapse of sanity. I knew how I really felt about him now, and I wasn’t afraid of it anymore. Hopefully he’d be able to forgive me for what had to be the millionth time in our relationship.

I got out of my car and walked inside the building, stopping to grab my mail on the way. The entire ride up the elevator and walk down the hallway to my apartment door I practiced and revised the speech I was going to give him in my head.

I was so distracted that I realized just a second too late that the doorknob had turned in my hand before the key had unlocked it. I nearly stumbled through the doorway in surprise. I caught myself even as my brain screamed at me to turn around and run.

My legs didn’t react in time. The world went dark before I ever saw anything coming. Suddenly I felt like a thousand sharp objects were being shot through my skull. My head was throbbing and I quickly remembered feeling like this once before in my life. My vision began to come back slowly, but everything was still blurry.

At some point I realized I was lying on the ground surrounded by my mail. I let out a groan of pain as a bout of dizziness joined the stabbing sensation. I tried to move, to push myself up off of the floor, but it didn’t seem as if my brain and the rest of my body were currently connected. Then a blurry figure moved into view.

“Hello, Gabrielle.” My stomach clenched at the sound of the voice.

Suddenly I felt my arm being grabbed and then I was being pulled up to my feet. I struggled to get my feet under me and hold me up. I could see clearer now and took in the sight of my attacker as he stood and grinned at me.

Ten years in prison maybe have gone by, but Vince didn’t look all that different. His hair was longer, pulled back into a ponytail. He had a goatee that I’d never seen on him before. The one thing that hadn’t changed at all was that sick expression. It was the same one he’d worn the night he had beaten and raped me.

“Vince,” I managed to choke out. He laughed at the sound of his name.

“Good, you remember me.” Like I would have ever been able to forget him. “It’s nice of you to let me into your home.”

“What are you doing here?” I chose my words carefully to try to keep from angering him. I figured that as long as I kept him talking I might be able to find a way out of this.

“I just wanted to visit an old friend.” He was still gripping my arm and began to pull me into the living area, and further away from the door.

“You greet friends like this often?” I asked. I grimaced as soon as it came out of my mouth, but I hadn’t been able to help myself.

“Friends that send me to prison, yeah,” he growled at me. He threw me down onto the couch and then sat down next to me. “I thought we could talk.”

“About what?”

“The last ten years of my life. Did you know that prison isn’t a cake walk? It seems there’s a hierarchy among criminals if you can believe that. Guess where convicted rapists land on the totem pole.” I looked at him, but didn't respond. “They’re a fucking step above pedophiles, Gabrielle. The fucking bottom!”

His fist connected with my cheek as he yelled out the last sentence. I let out a cry of pain and surprise at the action. Immediately I put my hands up to my face and when I pulled them away I saw blood on them and tasted it in my mouth. I needed to find a way out of here, and fast.

“I’m sorry,” I apologized.

“You’re sorry? You’re fucking sorry?!” he yelled jumping up from the couch to tower over me. “You should be. You put me in that hell hole. You ruined my life. While I was in there rotting away you were out here living the life apparently,” he said gesturing to my apartment.

I could feel the two blows to my head starting to get to me. My vision was less than perfect and I could feel my eye swelling shut. I didn’t have a whole lot of time to make my move and get away from him. I watched him as he paced around my apartment continuing to rant about how I’d ruined his life.

I swallowed hard as I tried to gauge his route and his speed. I wasn’t paying any attention to the things he was saying anymore, I was just trying to focus on his movements. Then I saw it, my only chance. He had his back to me and was as far from me as he could really get. I gritted my teeth against the pain, jumped up from the couch and ran for the door.

“You bitch!” I heard him yell from behind me. His footsteps echoed through the apartment as he chased me.

“Help me! Someone please!” I screamed as loud as I could.

I was nearly at the door when I felt my legs being knocked out from under me. I yelled in pain as I hit the floor with a thud. Vince spun me around so I was facing up as he grabbed my ankle and dragged me across the floor. I started to scream out again, but Vince pulled me up and clasped a hand over my mouth. Then he threw me back against the wall, my head hitting it hard. The dizziness started to take over.

“Shut up. Shut the fuck up! I’ve had it with you!” I struggled in his arms, but he pulled me into the bedroom and threw me down on the bed.

“Stop, please, stop,” I begged him.

“You fucked with the wrong guy,” he spat at me.

He hit me again and I could feel my strength draining out of me. I wondered if this time he was going to make it count, if he was going to finish the job and kill me this time around. The pain and dizziness took over and closing my eyes and giving up seemed so appealing. I tried to fight back, but didn’t have it in me.

I fell into near unconsciousness as I felt him tear my clothing off and rape me again. Tears fell from my eyes as I lay there unable to do anything about it. This wasn’t fair. I didn’t deserve to die this way without being able to tell Patrick how I really felt. He was my last thought before my entire world drifted off into total blackness.










Patrick walked out of the locker room pissed off. They’d lost and on a flukey fucking goal too. That goal was fucking bullshit bouncing off the glass the way it did. That’s how they lost, on a fucking lucky bounce? He was absolutely livid.

He knew that it shouldn’t have pissed him off that much. Those things happened and it really wasn’t anyone’s fault. They’d won four straight games before this loss so it wasn’t exactly a crippling loss either. It didn’t matter. He’d been pissed off for a week now.

“Want to grab some beers?” Burs called over to him.

They had tomorrow off, so yeah, he did. He left his car in the parking lot and hopped into Burish’s front seat. Let Burs drive tonight, because he really needed more than just a beer or two. Fuck it, he’d take a cab home if he had to.

“Talked to Gabby lately?” Tazer asked him as they sat at a table in some club downtown somewhere.

“No,” he growled out and finished the beer in his hand.

“Are you going to?”

“I don’t know,” he answered truthfully.

He glanced out at the dance floor and saw Kaner out there with three chicks hanging off of him. The other guys were either talking or dancing with their girlfriends or hitting on girls. Even Burs had ditched him to talk up some broad at the bar. Only Tazer had stayed back with him, but that was like him. He didn’t like to make a scene of himself.

“I think you have to, no matter what the outcome of the conversation is.”

“Why is that?”

“Because you can’t go on like this. You need to know whether things can be fixed or if they’re over. Not having a clue is taking its toll on you, and you know it.”

Tazer was right, he had to talk to Gabrielle, and he had to do it soon. He pulled out his phone and pulled her name up. Then he caught sight of Tazer shaking his head. He nodded and put his phone away. It was far too loud in here, and he was far too drunk to have any sort of important conversation right now.

Not wanting to stick around and watch his teammates dry hump broads on the dance floor before they made it home and did the real thing, he tossed money on the table and headed for the exit. It wasn’t until Patrick was in a moving cab that he realized just how drunk he was. He never got like this. He was going to have to talk to Gabrielle soon, maybe even tomorrow.

The cab dropped him off and he stumbled up to his front door. It took him a few minutes to find the right key to let him in the house. He didn’t even bother changing before falling into bed. He simply dropped his suit jacket on the floor, and slipped his shoes off. Then he let his body fall, felt the bed shift under his weight before he was out.

The sound of a ringing phone woke him up. His head was pounding and all he knew was that he needed to stop that sound immediately. He groped around the nightstand next to the bed trying to find it before realizing that his phone was in his jacket pocket. He put a pillow over his head instead of getting up, and the ringing stopped.

He let out a sigh of relief and tried his best to forget the headache and spinning of his head so he could fall back to sleep. He wasn’t sure how long he’d been out for or even what time it was. All he knew was that he didn’t want to be awake right now. He just wanted to sleep off the beer.

The sound of the phone began again and he groaned in annoyance. He was going to murder whoever was calling him right now. He debated ignoring it again, but changed his mind. He pulled himself out of bed and dug the phone out of his jacket pocket. He didn’t recognize the number on the screen.

“Hello?” he grumbled out.

“Patrick? It’s Officer Monahan.” The officer’s name snapped him to attention.

“What’s going on?” he asked, suddenly on alert.

“It’s Gabrielle,” Officer Monahan began. Patrick suddenly felt sick.

“Gabby? What’s wrong with Gabby? Is she okay?” He fired the questions into the phone, desperate to hear that she was fine, cursing himself for letting her walk out the door the entire time.

“She’s in the hospital, Patrick. It’s not good…..”

“What hospital?” Patrick cut him off. Officer Monahan rambled off the name and Patrick grabbed his keys and ran into the garage, only to find his car wasn’t there. Fuck, of all night’s…..He pulled out his phone and dialed.

“Sharpie?” a groggy voice answered.

“Tazer, I need you to get your ass over here and pick me up now,” he demanded.

Chapter 35

It had been almost a week since Gabrielle had walked out his door. Although he knew that he was putting on a pretty decent façade to everyone, Patrick was a mess. His emotions were just all over the place. One moment he was depressed about her being gone, the next he was angry at her. It was tough to be so up and down all the time, and pretend like he was fine.

He’d managed to keep it all out of hockey, but he hadn’t been able to keep it from one person. Burs knew he wasn’t okay. It didn’t mean they talked about it a lot, but one night he’d just snapped. Patrick hadn’t meant for it to happen, but it just all came pouring out after a few beers.

“I can’t even begin to tell you the shit that she’s had to go through in her past, but it’s really fucked her up,” he started.

“Shouldn’t you be relieved then?” Burs had asked.

“No. No, I’m not relieved. I’m angry. I’m fucking livid.”

“About what?”

“I’ve been patient. I’ve sucked a lot of pride up to help her deal with things. I did everything the entire relationship her way, and what does she do? Freak out the one fucking time I do something she doesn’t expect and walk out. It’s fucking bullshit!”

“Tell me how you really feel, Sharpie.” Patrick had sighed then and taken another swig of his beer.

“I don’t know what else I could have done for her. I’ve gone over and over it in my head and I wouldn’t do anything different. At some point she should be able to do something for me, right?” He couldn’t help how he felt, and he just needed some confirmation that he wasn’t being a complete jackass as far as Gabrielle was concerned.

“Right. You know how I feel about relationships. I’m too selfish to be in one, and you can’t be selfish. You also can’t be a pushover. There’s a reason people always talk about compromise when they talk about relationships.” It was all obvious, everything Burish was saying, but it helped just a little to hear someone besides him say it.

“It just pisses me off that after all I compromised and went through with her she couldn’t just tell me the truth. She made a mistake walking out and I wish like hell I could tell her that.”

“You miss her.”

“Fuck.” Patrick didn’t want to miss her, not after the way she tried to just disappear on him. He wished he could just write her off and move on, but he couldn’t. That pissed him off right now too.

“So go get her. Tell her to buck the fuck up and deal with whatever issue she’s facing.”

“I can’t do that. Not right now anyway. I know Gabby. She just needs some time, a breather. Then I can go tell her all of that.”

It killed him to be so understanding. He hated that he was like that. Once in a while he wished he could just be an asshole and walk right into Paige’s house and tell Gabrielle exactly what he thought of her walking out the way she did. However he knew if he did that, he’d only drive her further away, and that wasn’t what he wanted. Despite how angry he was, he wanted her back with him.

Maybe that made him a fool, but he didn’t care. He loved her and there wasn’t anything he could do about it. It was hard to blame her for being the way she was when she’d lived the life she had. He just wished she’d had better timing with her freak out, or that he’d had better timing on slipping up and telling her he loved her, even if she wasn’t meant to hear it.

Right now he was just scared for her. As far as he knew Vince was still out there. While he couldn’t prove it, Patrick knew Vince wasn’t done. He didn’t think Vince would be done until he’d found Gabrielle or the police found him first. It was killing him to not be able to watch out for Gabrielle all the time. He could just add fear to the emotions he was feeling when he thought about her.

So he went about his business like normal. He woke up, went to the rink, practiced or played a game, went home and took care of Dudley. Then he went to bed and did it all over again. Every day, despite knowing better, he hoped that his phone would ring and Gabrielle would be at the other end, or she’d just show up at his door.

He wasn’t sure how long he’d wait for her. He didn’t know if she’d ever come back, or if he’d ever go to her. He wanted to go to her at some point, and at least talk to her. He had to see if there was any hope for them. But in order for there to be hope, Gabrielle was going to have to let go of her past and trust him. That was the only way they could ever work again.










I sat in Paige’s living room with a cup of tea and just stared out the window. I’d been doing that a lot lately. Most of the last few days had consisted of me zoning out while I stared at nothing. It was like my brain had just been overworked and shut itself down. It had been hard to function at all, and most days I didn’t want to.

I was overwhelmed with life in general. I was stressed out over Vince still being out there somewhere. Not having Patrick in my life anymore, at least for now, had hurt me so much more than I’d expected. On top of those things, work had been crazy. I felt like kids were just in and out of my office with a myriad of problems. I was worn out.

Most days I ended up at Paige’s after work. It was partly because she just sat with me. She never tried to force me to talk, but if I wanted to she listened and wouldn’t make me feel like I was crazy. It was also partly because I was afraid to be home. Today was no different. Loxley had jumped up onto the sofa with me and was sleeping with his head on my lap.

“Do you want anything to eat?” Paige asked from the kitchen. I shook my head, but didn’t respond. I probably should eat something since I hadn’t done much of that lately, but my appetite had disappeared.

“I miss him.” I hadn’t realized I’d said it out loud until Paige sat down next to me and gave me a sad look.

“What happened between the two of you?” she asked.

I still hadn’t given Paige a straight answer, because if I told her the truth, I’d have to explain. I hadn’t wanted to do that. I’d already had to get into things I’d never wanted to talk about or relive once in the last year. I hadn’t wanted to do it ever again. Now though, that didn’t seem to be so important anymore.

“He told me he loved me.”

“What?!” she exclaimed. I could tell that she was confused on how he could have told me that he loved me and then we’d somehow broken up. “What did you say?”

“I walked out,” I told her truthfully. She looked at me like I was insane, and now I was beginning to feel the same way.

“That’s why you two broke up? Because he told you he loved you?!” I nodded and felt tears start to sting my eyes. “I don’t understand.”

I knew it was time. Keeping secrets didn’t seem very important to me anymore. And so I opened up to Paige. I told her everything about my past. I finally answered her questions on why Vince was after me. I cried over Quinn. I wasn’t sure what to expect when I finished. I knew Paige well enough to know she wasn’t going to order me out of her place, but I wasn’t sure how she would react.

“Your family sucks.” I don’t know what it was about her statement that did it, but I suddenly burst out into laughter. It could have been the words, the way she said it. Maybe I was just finally cracking, but I couldn’t stop laughing. “Are you about done?” she asked as I wiped tears from my eyes and calmed down.

“I’m sorry?”

“Gabby, I love you. You’re one of my best friends, but I need to be frank with you about something. Is that okay?”

“Yes, please.”

“Maybe someday you’ll work things out with your family. Maybe you never will. None of that matters right now. What matters is that there is a man out there that knows all of that and loves you despite it all. He’s given you the one thing you craved your whole life. I get that it was scary but it’s time to be realistic. What are you going to do about it?” Paige was right. It was time to face everything.

“I just have to get through work tomorrow. He has a game Saturday. I’ll do it Sunday. I’ll tell him Sunday.” Paige looked at me and smiled while placing a hand on mine. Suddenly the world wasn’t so scary anymore.

Chapter 34

I felt the bile rising up in my throat, but did everything in my power to keep it down. That was a struggle considering I was also trying to do my best not to even so much as twitch a muscle. I couldn’t let Patrick know I was awake. I couldn’t let him know I’d heard what he’d just said. I couldn’t let him know that I wanted to bolt out of bed, out of the house, and far away from him.

This was too much. I couldn’t handle everything that came with this right now. How could he have told me he loved me? I wasn’t ready. I didn’t want to be ready. Why couldn’t we just leave things the way they were? Things had been good, hadn’t they? Our relationship was just where I wanted it, just where I could handle it. My safety net was gone now. Everything around me was hard, painful, and confusing. Goddammit, Patrick, why?

It was everything I could do to wait until I knew Patrick was asleep before I slipped out of bed. I made my way into the bathroom, shut the door, and turned on the faucet to splash cold water on my face. I had to get rid of this nauseous feeling before I could get back into bed.

Just relax, Gabrielle. He didn’t think you were awake. Deep down you knew he felt that way before now. You knew it was bound to happen eventually. Just go back to bed, get some sleep, and think on things in the morning when you’ve had time to process. Don’t make any rash decisions right now.

I convinced myself to get back into bed. I did my best not to disturb Patrick because I didn’t think I could handle cuddling with him as I tried to fall asleep tonight. Thankfully he didn’t move, and I kept distance between us. When his alarm went off in the morning I still hadn’t fallen asleep. Even so, I pretended to still be asleep as he got up and got out of bed.

I could hear him moving around in the kitchen making himself some breakfast. Then I heard him turn on the TV as he ate. He had a routine in the morning before practice and I could practically visualize exactly what he was doing every moment. After he’d gotten dressed he walked over to the bed and placed a kiss on my forehead.

“See you later,” he whispered. I mumbled out a goodbye, like I’d been asleep until that moment. I gave it a few minutes after I heard his car start and pull out of the driveway before I got out of bed.

I moved into the living room and sat down on the couch to think some more. That’s all I’d been doing all night, but my stomach and heart hurt at everything I’d thought about. Realization hit me that I might have been able to handle this better if this stuff with Vince wasn’t going on. I also might feel better about it if I hadn’t just overheard Patrick tell me he loved me, but had him really tell me.

I looked over at Lox and Dudley who were both lying on the floor and staring up at me. Their eyes looked sad, like they could feel what I did. I knew what had to be done and I didn’t have much time to do it. I found my cell and dialed one of the few numbers I had in my contacts.

“Do you realize how early it is?” Paige answered. I ignored her comment, with one thing in mind.

“Can you take Loxley for a little while?” I asked.

“What? Why do I have to take Loxley?” I could feel tears welling in my eyes, but I had to fight them back right now. Now was not the time.

“I’m moving into a hotel for a bit and can’t take him.” The lie tasted like vomit in my throat. Paige was quiet for a moment.

“What happened?” she asked, her voice softer now.

“I don’t want to talk about it yet.” I didn’t want to talk about it ever. Any sane person would call me a damn fool for doing what I was about to.

“Of course I’ll take him.” I thanked her, told her I’d be over in a couple of hours and hung up.

I hurriedly packed up my things and put them into the car. I gave Dudley one last kiss before I walked out of the house and drove over to Paige’s. She tried one last time to convince me to tell her why I was moving out of Patrick’s house, but I didn’t tell her. I couldn’t tell her. Then I drove home.

I parked in the parking lot and used my key to get into the building. I got on the elevator and then got off on my floor. It wasn’t until I was down the hall and had the key in the lock that the fear hit me. Maybe I was making a mistake. Maybe I was a fool. I felt panic beginning to settle in and envisioned Patrick taking my hand, holding it to his chest, and telling me to breathe. I calmed down, and turned the key, the door opening a moment later.

I walked cautiously into my apartment like I was afraid Vince was going to come around a corner any second. Of course he didn’t and I dropped my stuff in the entryway and walked all the way inside. Patrick and I had gone back to pick up any stuff I would need when I moved in with him and had cleaned up my apartment in the process.

There were no more traces of the destruction Vince had done to my place except for the bare spots on the walls where artwork had hung and empty places on shelves where pictures that had been destroyed were set. I moved towards the bedroom and glanced in. The bed was unmade and a red stain was still on the mattress, a hole visible. I shuddered and shut the door, deciding I’d be sleeping on the futon.

I went back to get my stuff and began to put it all away. My apartment didn’t feel like home now. It felt empty, like I was in a stranger’s place for the first time alone. I shook off the thoughts as I finished putting everything away. Then I hoped I’d made good enough time to beat Patrick home.

I got back into my car and drove back to his house. I had to drop his key off and I wanted to leave a note. I wanted him to know that I was okay, but I couldn’t be there anymore. I pulled into the driveway and used the key to walk in the front door. I realized a little too late that Patrick had beaten me.

He was sitting on the couch in the living room in silence, staring out the window. I didn’t know what to do or what to say and stood frozen in silence as well. He turned towards me, a look of hurt and confusion on his face. It hurt to see him looking like that. He stared at me with questioning eyes for a while before he spoke.

“Why?” was all he asked. I averted my gaze, looking everywhere but at him. I hadn’t planned on talking to him, which I realized made me a terrible person.

“I…..I just…..I came back to give you this,” I stuttered out, avoiding answering the question and holding out the key to his house. He looked at it angrily.

“Don’t,” he growled angrily. “What did I do?” I looked into his eyes for the first time since I’d walked in and I saw his face momentarily fall. He realized then why I was going.

“I’ll be staying with Paige…..” I began my second lie of the day, but let my words trail off.

“Gabrielle, I’m sorry,” he apologized. Then his expression hardened again and he got up from his seat on the couch, his eyes boring into mine. “No, actually I’m not. I love you, Gabby, and I’m not sorry for that. And I know you love me too.” I shook my head at his words, tore my eyes away from his.

“Patrick, please…..”

“I’m done playing by your rules. I’m in love with you, Gabrielle. I want you to go back to Paige’s, get your stuff and Loxley and come back. I want you to move in here, permanently. I want you to tell me you love me too,” he demanded.

“No…..no, I can’t.”

“You can’t or you won’t?” he asked through clenched teeth.

I felt the tears starting to spill down my face. Too much was spinning through my head. Patrick was telling me he loved me. He wanted me to move in with him on a permanent basis. He wanted to hear me tell him I loved him. It was too much. There was just too much going on. I needed time to figure things out.

“Stop it. Please, stop it,” I begged.

My legs felt like jelly, like they were going to give out any moment. Maybe I could have handled one of the three. Maybe I could have dealt with his ‘I love you’ if it didn’t come strings attached. I couldn’t hear that, say it back, and move in all at once. It was step by step with me, and he was asking me to skip from 1 to 10. I couldn’t do it and I wasn’t sure how much longer I could stand there thinking that. I had to make myself move. I had to think of something to say to him so he’d let me go. Then I had to turn and walk out the door.

“What’s it going to be?” he asked after a while.

I wanted so badly to just fall into Patrick’s arms and be everything he wanted me to be. I wished more than anything I could be normal and less scarred by my past. If I was healed then I’d be able to do what he wanted, but I wasn’t. I couldn’t ever be healed, and so I couldn’t ever be the person Patrick deserved.

I forced my legs to move and walked towards where Patrick was standing in front of the couch. I saw his face expose the hope he was feeling every step I took closer to him. I felt my heart breaking with each step as well. I stopped a few feet from him and looked at him one last time. Then I bent down and placed his key on the coffee table. Without waiting to see what he said, or even giving him another glance, I turned and walked out the door.

I got into my car telling myself what I’d done was the right thing. As I drove away I repeated that in my head over and over again even as the tears fell down my face. I pulled into the parking lot at my building convinced that what I needed was to be on my own so I could reevaluate my life. I walked into my apartment, collapsed onto the floor, and broke.

Chapter 33

A few weeks had passed and I was still at Patrick’s place, the police still hadn’t found Vince, and I was feeling more and more stressed. Every day that went by without word on Vince made me worry just a little more. Where was he and what was he planning? I’d become paranoid, studying the faces of every person I saw making sure he wasn’t following me. I’d even become grateful for the rides to and from work from Patrick and Paige.

Even though I was feeling less and less stable every day, I kept it all inside for Patrick. Pre-season had started and he was back to the grind. Then he’d had to go to Finland for a couple of games and I had stayed with Paige while he was gone. I couldn’t put any more stress onto Patrick with his season underway. I especially didn’t want to alter anything since he’d scored a goal in each of the first three games he’d played.

I sat in my office, staring blankly at a file that I couldn’t have identified if asked about it. Too much was on my mind, and admittedly I’d been slacking when it came to work lately. I hadn’t wanted to be like that, and I hated myself for it, but I couldn’t help it. A knock on my door jolted me out of my thoughts and I smiled as I waved Gia in.

“Hey, Gia, how are you?” I asked. She didn’t look upset, but we didn’t have an appointment, so I didn’t know the reason for this visit. She’d actually been doing much better since she’d opened up to me, and we didn’t currently have any appointments scheduled at all.

“I’m good,” she replied, but didn’t offer up any more than that.

“Is there something you wanted to talk about?” I pushed after a moment of silence between us.

“Not really.” She was quiet again, but there had to be a reason she was here. “My parents finalized their divorce yesterday.” There it was.

“How do you feel about that?” I was almost tempted to congratulate her. She’d told me before how much better things had been once she’d talked to her parents and told them what their fighting was doing to her. Gia shrugged, and then a small smile formed on her lips.

“I feel bad saying it, but it’s nice. They’re in such better moods now. There’s no more fighting. They can even get along when they see each other,” she told me. I smiled back at her.

“I’m glad that it seems to have been the right thing to do.”

“Yeah, and my dad got a place just a couple blocks away so I can see him whenever I want to.”

“It’s nice that you’ll still have both of them around. It shows how much they care about you.” Gia smiled and nodded before falling quiet once again. This time I waited her out to see what else she wanted to say. “I have something for you.”

“For me? What is it?” I asked, not expecting this at all. She pulled something out of her backpack and opened it up. “Is that your portfolio?”

“Yeah, it is. I just started working on it not too long ago. I wanted to have something together when I started applying to college. I’m going to go for photography,” she explained.

“That’s great,” I told her enthusiastically. “It’s good to know what you want in life. You’re luckier than most.” I watched her pull something out of her portfolio.

“My dad took me to Yellowstone this summer so we could spend some time together since I’m living with Mom. I took a lot of pictures, and this one just reminded me of you. I thought you might want to have it.”

She handed the photo over to me. I saw that it was a photo of the sunrise in Yellowstone, but it was so much more than that. The sunrise was the subject of the photo, but the way the light played on the difference surfaces, the mist that rose up, nearly took my breath away. It wasn’t just beautiful, but it held hope in it. For whatever reason as I looked at it, I felt hopeful, like it represented a new beginning.

“It’s an amazing photo. Thank you so much for thinking of me. I love it,” I told her sincerely. She was beaming over at me when I looked back up at her.

“Well, I have to get to class.”

“I’ll write you a pass,” I offered when I heard the bell ring. I wrote one and then handed it over to her. “I’d love to see your portfolio when you’re done with it, if you don’t mind.” She smiled at me again.

“I’ll bring it in.” With that she turned and walked out of my office.

I glanced back down at the photo in my hand and fought back the tears that wanted to spill from my eyes. I didn’t quite know why it was affecting me so much, or how Gia seemed to know that it would. I just knew that I wanted how it made me feel to be right. I wanted to be happy and hopeful again. I wanted out of the funk I’d been in. Maybe when Vince was caught I would get a new beginning. I put the photo in a drawer, telling myself I would go get a frame immediately and hang it in my office. Then I forced myself to get out of my head and back to work.










Patrick kissed Gabrielle goodbye before walking out of the house. It was the first home game of the season and he was headed in to the rink. He hated leaving Gabby alone in the house, even if it was just for a couple hours, but it couldn’t be helped. He couldn’t be there all the time.

If one good thing had come out of any of this however, it was that she’d been with him all the time. She’d been living at his house for a few weeks now, and he had no complaints. He loved having her around, being there for every meal, sleeping next to him each night. He didn’t want her to leave, ever. But that was a whole other story.

That was not a topic he could just bring up with Gabrielle. She’d be resistant to the idea and he knew it. It went right along with the fact that he couldn’t just come out and tell her he loved her. It would have to be done at the right time, the right way, or she would just panic and run. That was the last thing he wanted.

Sure, it was frustrating to not be able to tell her how he really felt about her. It was taking more and more effort not to just blurt out the ‘I love you’ to her. Even if the police finding Vince would put her back in her apartment, which is something he didn’t want, he couldn’t tell her he loved her until all of this was resolved. She had too much on her mind to add anything else.

He pulled into the parking lot and got out of his car. It had only been three games, and the team had a 1-1-1 record, but this season felt good. He’d scored in each of the first three games, and something felt different this time around. They had a special team and he knew it. This could be the year for them. This team had the ability to win the Cup.

And wouldn’t that be a hell of a year for him? Win the Cup, fall in love, and move in with his girlfriend. The thought put a giant smile on his face. Once inside the locker room he pushed thoughts of Gabrielle out of his head, which was harder to do these days than it had been last season, and prepared for the game.

Later that night he walked out of the locker room happy with a win. He stepped foot into the family room and immediately Gabrielle’s eyes met him and lit up, followed by a smile. He joined her conversation with some of the others for a few minutes and a debate about going to get some food and drinks came up.

“What do you think?” he asked her, fine with any decision she made.

He wanted her to want to go out, because she hadn’t done much of that lately. Mostly she’d been staying locked up in the house unless she was at work. She’d been too afraid to be out anywhere, afraid that she’d run into Vince. Even so, he wasn’t going to be the least bit upset if she didn’t want to either.

“Maybe we could go just for a little bit,” she answered a little hesitantly. Everyone knew what was going on, and he saw them all smile at Gabby.

A large group of the team went out to get some food so she was surrounded by a lot of people that wouldn’t let anything happen to her. That seemed to loosen her up some, and make her forget about Vince. They stayed longer than he’d expected them to, which was fine with him. Gabrielle’s smiles and laughter had been too sparse lately.

When they returned home he immediately changed out of his suit and found Gabrielle standing at the back door watching Dudley and Loxley run around the backyard. Still too amped from the game to be even remotely tired he plopped down on the couch and turned on the TV, putting on NHL Network to see what others teams had done that night.

He heard the sound of paws running across the floor seconds before he was bombarded by the two dogs. He laughed, gave them some attention, before they had their fill and began to expend the last bit of their energy playing together. It was then that Gabrielle walked over, and instead of sitting next to him, she curled right up on his lap.

“Thank you,” she told him.

“For what?” he asked. She placed a kiss on his forehead before answering.

“Doing all that you have the past few weeks. I don’t know what I would have done if I didn’t have you,” she told him. He kissed her before they settled back and watched TV together.

A little while later they got ready for bed and crawled in together. Patrick thought again about how nice it was to have Gabby there to hold every night. After giving her a kiss goodnight he pulled her into his arms and closed his eyes. She fell asleep before him and he opened his eyes just to watch her sleep for a little while. She was always so beautiful when she slept. Then he couldn’t help himself. She was asleep after all.

“I love you, Gabby,” he whispered, just feeling better having said it out loud.

He knew he had to wait until all of this was over to tell her when she could hear him, but it couldn’t hurt to tell her when she was asleep. Maybe if he did it each night it would subliminally make its way into her mind and it would be less difficult for her when he did eventually tell her. He settled back into bed, a smile on his face, and fell asleep alongside her.

Chapter 32

Patrick sat there with Gabrielle in the lobby and listened to her explain to the police about Vince. He held her hand while they waited to find out if it was possible that Vince had been the one to break into her apartment. He felt sick with her when he found out it probably had been. He became angry when he found out her family knew Vince was out of jail and didn’t tell her.

Gabrielle’s parents and sisters became the first people in his life he officially hated. He had already had issues with the way they’d treated Gabrielle when she was growing up, and now this. It just baffled him that people could be like that. She was their flesh and blood, and even after knowing she was a changed person, they still did this to her.

“I think we have all we need for right now from you. You should go get some rest. We will be in your apartment for a while longer collecting evidence. Is there someplace you can go?” the officer Gabrielle had requested to talk to asked.

“You can stay with me,” Patrick said without hesitation. He’d made up his mind a long time ago that she was staying with him. There was no way he could let her back into that apartment while the person who had done that was still out there.

“Thanks,” she whispered. He could see how scared and defeated she was right now, and it killed him. This wasn’t the Gabrielle he’d known for the last year.

“I’d also advise you not to return here until whoever did this is caught,” Officer Monahan suggested. Gabrielle nodded her head but didn’t respond.

“Thank you,” Patrick told the officer as he helped Gabrielle up and out of her seat.

After giving the police his address and phone number he grabbed the leashes for both dogs and led Gabrielle out to his car. The drive to his house was silent except for the sounds of the collars on the dogs in the back. Patrick wasn’t sure what to say, if there was anything, to help Gabby right now.

Once inside Gabby just headed straight for the bedroom and got into bed. Patrick made sure there was food and water available for the dogs before following her in. He found her curled up in a ball, eyes wide and staring off. He got into bed behind her and wrapped his arms around her.

“Try to sleep,” he whispered before placing a kiss on her temple. She didn’t respond, but he hadn’t expected her to.

The next morning he awoke to find himself alone in bed. A brief moment of fear struck him, but he quickly pushed that away. He got out of bed, and guessed on where Gabby might be. He poked his head in the doorway of the room he’d turned into her studio to find her sitting in front of a canvas covered only in a deep, almost black, purple.

The paint looked to be dry, yet Gabrielle had the paintbrush still in her grasp. She must have been sitting there, staring at the canvas for a long time. He wasn’t sure if he should say something, walk in quietly, or just leave her alone. He made his decision and walked quietly into the room, stopping beside her.

“Do you believe in past lives?” she asked, still continuing to stare at the canvas.

“What?” He wasn’t sure he’d heard her right.

“Past lives. Karma. Reincarnation. Anything like that. Do you believe in it?” she asked again.

“Not really,” he responded. “Why?”

“If any of that’s true, I must have been a serial killer.” There was no hint of humor in her voice. She’d meant it. He knelt down next to her and forced her to look at him.

“You did not cause this. This happened because there is some sick asshole out there who doesn’t like that you stood up to him.”

“It’s not just him. It’s everything. My whole life.” A single tear dropped from one eye, and he wiped it away immediately.

“Your past is only about a third of your total life. You have another two-thirds, and hopefully more left to enjoy, to have fun, to be happy, to do good things. I promise you that the rest of your life will look nothing like what you’ve gone through so far. Do you hear me? I promise.”

She nodded as she continued to look into his eyes. He saw that she struggled with what he said, but she wanted to believe him. He could see the hope in her eyes. There was no way he was going to break that promise. He was going to make sure that she lived an amazing life. He wouldn’t ever let anything bad happen to her again.










The latest coworker walked out of my office and I narrowed my eyes at their back. If one more person stepped foot in here to offer advice, condolences, a place to stay, or so on, I would scream. I’d only been away from the school for a day, but everyone seemed to know what had happened. Bad news travels fast, I guess.

I knew I shouldn’t be angry with them for wanting to make sure I was okay. I also knew I wasn’t actually angry at them. It was just the transference of anger from Vince, who was still missing, to people who were actually physically there.

Some people, Isaiah included, thought it was too early for me to be back at work. I didn’t see it that way. Work gave me something to do, something else to worry about. If I stayed at Patrick’s, I would just spend my day thinking about my apartment and Vince. Besides, there were kids here who needed my help. I couldn’t let them down.

“Should I reschedule?” Nathan asked, poking his head into my office. I groaned before motioning him in.

“You too?” He just shrugged.

“I get it. If you had a nickel for every time someone asked if you were okay…..” He let his voice trail off.

“Exactly. And I’m fine, for the record,” I lied. He smiled back at me. “So tell me how classes are going.”

I walked out of school a few hours later, as annoyed as I’d ever felt. Tomorrow I was putting a sign on my door telling everyone to just leave me alone unless they had a real problem. I was also not happy with leaving school earlier than I cared to today. I had things I wanted to work on, but I couldn’t.

I caught sight of Patrick’s car parked right out front. God, I felt like a teenager with a curfew. Well, what I assumed a teenager who had ever obeyed curfew felt like. Patrick and Paige together had decided I was no longer to be left on my own. Patrick drove me to school and picked me up, unless he couldn’t and then Paige took over. Just until Vince, or whoever had broken into my apartment, was caught. It was ridiculous and overboard.

“How was your day?” Patrick asked as I got into the car. I turned my annoyed glare onto him. “Okay, I get it.”

We were silent the rest of the trip back to his house. I wanted nothing more than to just close myself off from the world right now. Thankfully I had a very understanding and perceptive boyfriend. When we pulled within sight of Patrick’s house I noticed an unmarked, but unmistakable, police car in the driveway. Quentin was leaning against the side of it.

“Officer Monahan,” Patrick greeted him with a handshake when we got out of the car.

“I’m sorry if I’m bothering you, but we have some news. Would you mind if I came inside?” he asked us. We invited him in and sat across from him in the living room.

“What’s going on?” I asked, wondering what this news was, hoping they'd found Vince.

“We had a hit on some fingerprints we found in your apartment. We can confirm that Vince Watts was in your apartment at some point and is our main suspect.”

Although I’d been expecting to hear that it was Vince, and I’d had a feeling it was him all along, it still sent a ripple of shock and fear through me. Part of me had hoped that it wasn’t him, that I didn’t have to worry, and that I didn’t have to blame my family for not informing me that he was out of jail. That last bit of hope had just been crushed.

“So what now?” Patrick asked. It had been my question, but I felt like I couldn’t speak.

“We’re looking for him. We hope this was just one angry act of destruction, but he did break the conditions of his parole just by skipping out of town, so he is going back to prison no matter what. If you see him or hear from him it’s important you let us know.” I nodded, but still couldn’t get any words out.

“We will definitely let you know,” Patrick answered for me. Quentin stood up from his spot and Patrick and I both stood as well.

“I’ll keep you up to date on any new developments. We hope this can be resolved quickly without any more problems.”

We walked Quentin to the door and Patrick and he exchanged a few more words before he got into his car and left. I stood in the doorway watching him drive away until he was out of sight, still reeling at the confirmation that Vince knew where I was and where I lived. There was no doubt in my mind that this wasn't just a onetime thing.

“What happens if he’s still looking for me?” I asked Patrick, the words I’d wanted to say finally making their way out.

“Nothing, because I’m not letting anything happen to you. I made you a promise, remember?” I nodded, and wondered if this was one that he could keep.

Chapter 31

People always say that bad things come in three’s. I’d never believed that. To me, bad things just always came. My whole life was one bad thing after another. Well, that was the case until I met Patrick. Suddenly there were no bad things anymore, just good. For a year, despite some of my reservations and feelings, I’d been happy.

I should have known that couldn’t last. I should have known that I only drew in any bad or negative energy, no matter how hard I tried to fix any wrongs I’d committed. Now as I stood outside, seeing the night glow in red and blue from the police cars surrounding me I saw that the last year had just been a fluke.

“Could you go over what happened one last time?” Quentin, who was only here investigating because I’d refused to talk to anyone else, asked.

I looked up into the familiar officer’s eyes wishing like hell that we were meeting because I was bailing out another one of my students instead of what I’d found tonight. I nodded and for the third time, I told the story again, starting at the beginning.










“Loxley, come on,” I groaned out in exasperation. Patrick, Dudley, and I stood impatiently on the sidewalk waiting for Lox to finish sniffing some scent he currently found fascinating. “Even the basset hound isn’t sniffing around this much tonight!”

“It’s fine,” Patrick tried to assure me, with a little laugh. I turned and glared at him.

“It’s raining,” I shot back.

We’d just gotten to my complex from spending the weekend at Patrick’s. That had become our routine. During the week we saw each other at night when I was out of work and Patrick didn’t have anything for hockey. On weekends when I wasn’t working, I stayed at his house. On Sunday nights when I had work in the morning, Patrick stayed at my place.

Finally Loxley gave up and trotted towards the entrance to the building. I followed him and led everyone inside, shaking off all the moisture that had collected on my clothes and in my hair. The elevator arrived and we piled on, taking it up to my floor. I didn’t pay attention to where we were walking as I talked to Patrick while we walked down the hall. Suddenly I ran right into Loxley, who had come to a dead stop.

“Lox, what the hell?!” I yelled, wondering what had gotten into my dog tonight.

He still didn’t move, just stayed frozen in place staring straight ahead. I watched in shock as the hair on his back began to stand on end. As if that wasn’t enough, he began to emit a low growl. Before I could tell him to stop, Dudley joined him with a growl of his own, also staring straight ahead.

Wondering what was going on, I glanced up, not immediately seeing anything suspicious. Upon further inspection I noticed a crack of light coming from my doorway. It was partially open and I knew there was no way I’d left it open all weekend. I reached a hand out and grasped onto Patrick’s arm.

“I see it,” he told me. I began to move forward, but he held out an arm to stop me. “Someone might still be in there.” He handed me Dudley’s leash and began walking towards my apartment himself.

“Maybe you shouldn’t go either,” I said. He ignored me and continued on, walking through the door. I only hesitated for a moment before following him, cautiously.

I stepped foot into the apartment and felt the breath leave me when I saw what it now looked like. I could only see a little bit of the apartment, but what I could see was a disaster. My stuff was strewn all over the floor and everything that had been on the walls was now littered all over the floor.

I moved further into the apartment, clinging to the dog leashes like they were my lifeline. I was only met with further chaos and destruction when more of the apartment came into view. Cupboards were open and empty, the contents emptied all over the place. Glass was shattered in places and paintings destroyed. More shockingly, the words ‘whore’ and ‘slut’ were painted on the walls in colors I knew I had in the studio.

“Whoever did this is gone now,” Patrick told me, walking over.

I couldn’t form words as I dropped the leashes to the floor and surveyed what had once been my organized apartment. I made my way over to one of my paintings that was lying on the ground and bent down to pick it up. That was when the frame lying next to it came into view. I reached over and picked up the photo of Patrick and I. The glass had been shattered and I had been defaced in it.

“I’ll call the police,” I heard Patrick say.

I could only nod as I stood up and began to collect all the pictures I’d had in the apartment. All of them had my face destroyed in one way or another while anyone else in the picture was left alone. I began to feel sick as I looked between them to the words painted on my walls and tears built in my eyes.

“They’re on the way,” Patrick told me, taking the pictures from my hands. I heard him curse under his breath when he saw them. “It’ll be okay.”

I let him pull me into his arms and think he was comforting me, when he wasn’t even close to doing so. Eventually I pulled away and began to walk back to look into my studio and bedroom. Patrick caught up to me and took hold of my arm to stop me.

“We shouldn’t walk all over. It might contaminate evidence the police will need,” he said.

It made sense, but I could see in his eyes that there was something else. I nodded and he let go of my arm. He turned to walk out of the apartment figuring I would be behind him, but I wasn’t. I continued on and looked into the studio. It was just as destroyed as the rest of the apartment, but that was it. When I made it to my bedroom doorway I froze in place, my stomach tying itself into knots.

My chest started to tighten, and I struggled to keep oxygen flowing into my lungs. This couldn’t be happening. There was no way this should be happening. I looked in at my bed where the covers had been torn off and blood red paint had been splattered all over the mattress, a knife stabbed right into the center of the stain. My eyes travelled to the wall behind my bed and took in the words written there.

Be seeing you.

“Gabby, come on,” I faintly heard Patrick say.

I vaguely felt him lead me out of the room and my apartment as my head started to spin. I was gasping for breath now as the panic attack hit me with full force. Soon I was sitting on the floor, Patrick in front of me, holding on and trying to coax me out of it. Eventually I was able to breathe again, but I was in a fog.

I hardly noticed when the police arrived. Patrick left me sitting on the floor in the hallway with a neighbor who had come out to help with me. He led the police into the apartment so they could survey the scene. My stomach lurched at the thought. My apartment was now a crime scene.

Feeling like I needed to get out of there, I jumped up and ran towards the stairwell, not wanting to wait for the elevator. I heard someone yelling my name, but I continued to run, all the way down the stairs and until I was out the door. I bent over the bushes lining the walkway and threw up. Then I collapsed down onto the ground, the rain not bothering me at all this time.

“Miss, are you okay?” an officer asked me, following Patrick out the door. I just nodded, but kept my eyes trained on an invisible spot on the ground, fighting the urge to be sick again. “We need to ask you some questions.” I directed my gaze up to him and shook my head.

“Quentin Monahan,” I said. Patrick and the officer looked at me in confusion.

“I’m sorry?” the officer asked.

“Quentin Monahan. I’ll only talk to Officer Monahan,” I explained. I don’t know why I was requesting him, but for some reason I felt I could only talk to him. I heard the officer make a call before he told me Quentin was on his way.

A while later I was sitting in the lobby of the complex, a towel around my shoulders, Patrick beside me holding my hand. I glanced over at him and saw that he looked both worried and angry. Quentin was sitting beside me taking notes on my story. He was called away by another officer who whispered something to him, and Quentin looked grim as he walked back over to me.

“It’s been confirmed. Vince Watts is out of jail and he’s skipped out on his parole officer. They haven’t located him in a month,” Quentin explained. My stomach lurched again, and I closed my eyes, fighting back the sickness.

“How did this happen? I was supposed to be notified when he got out of jail. He beat and raped me! They said they’d tell me!” I yelled, panic beginning to settle in again.

“That’s the thing,” Quentin began. “The police in St. Louis claim they did.”

I was about to argue with him and tell him that I’d never heard anything from them when a new wave of nausea hit me. The phone call I’d received from Kaylen a few months before suddenly popped into my head. They couldn’t have. They just couldn’t have.

“When did he get out?” I asked, my voice shaking.

“I was told he was released back at the very beginning of June,” he responded.

New tears sprung up into my eyes and began to fall down my face. He was released at the same time Kaylen called me. The police had notified my family that Vince had been released and they hadn’t told me. My family knew where I was and they chose not to tell me that the man who had beaten and raped me was free. Even worse was that they hadn’t told the police where I was so they could notify me. Now he was in Chicago and looking for revenge.

“They knew,” I whispered to Patrick.

“Who knew?” he asked.

“My family. They knew and they chose not to tell me. They hate me so much they wouldn’t even warn me,” I choked out.

Patrick wrapped his arms around me and pulled me into him. I could hear his voice saying something to me, but I didn’t hear the words. I couldn’t believe that they would do that to me. And yet I shouldn’t have been surprised. They had killed me off after all. Then I remembered something else Kaylen said. She said they had been arguing about what to do. That meant someone had wanted me to know. I couldn’t help but wonder which one of them that was.

Chapter 30

I closed up my notes for the day and got out from behind my desk. So far the first week of school had been uneventful, which was a nice change of pace. The last few years the first week of school had been crazy. I called out a goodbye to my secretary as I walked out of my office.

The hallways were mostly empty since school had ended at least an hour earlier. The only students remaining were one’s on a fall sports team. I stopped and talked to Paige for a few minutes before continuing out to the parking lot. I walked out of the door and dug into my purse for my car keys. When I looked back up, I nearly fell over in shock.

Standing there, leaning against one of the support poles in front of the school was Patrick. His arms were crossed over his chest, one ankle crossed over the other. The moment our eyes locked he beamed over at me. Completely forgetting where I was, I rushed over to him and jumped into his arms with a squeal.

“What are you doing here?” I asked, my arms wrapping around him in a tight hug.

“I decided to fly back a few days early to surprise you,” he replied. “Surprise!” I laughed along with him.

“I’d kiss you if I wasn’t still on school property,” I told him, unable to keep the smile off of my face.

“Then let’s go.”

He got into his car and followed me back to my apartment. The second the cars were parked and we were out of them, we were in each other’s arms. I didn’t care that we were standing in the middle of the sidewalk outside my building, I just cared that Patrick was back and his lips were on mine.

We managed to fumble our way into the building, up the elevator, and to my apartment. I felt like a giddy teenager, but didn’t care at all. As soon as we were inside he had my back pressed up against the door, our mouths seemingly unable to pull apart. I felt him untuck my shirt from my pants, and shivered when his hands skimmed over my stomach.

“Have I told you how beautiful you looked yet?” he asked between kisses.

“Have I told you how happy I am to see you?” I returned.

We left a trail of clothes leading from the entryway to my bedroom. My head was spinning like it wasn’t getting enough oxygen, or maybe too much of it. His touch felt electric and I felt like I’d die if he ever stopped touching me.

“What are you doing this weekend?” he asked me later, as we lay tangled up together in bed.

“I was just going to relax after the first week of school,” I answered, placing a few kisses along his jawline.

“Then pack up some stuff. You’re coming to my place, and I don’t plan on letting you out of my sight until Monday morning when you go back to work.”

I did what Patrick said and packed a bag of stuff, including work clothes for Monday. Then I grabbed some of Loxley’s stuff and we headed out. I followed Patrick back to his house, where Loxley was overjoyed to be reunited with Dudley. While they ran around the backyard, Patrick and I sat and watched them, hands intertwined, talking about the past month.

I spent most of the next day helping him unpack and get settled back in for the season. He argued with me through most of it, telling me he could do it himself, but if I was going to stay here, there was no way I was digging through boxes for anything. At one point Patrick stopped me from unpacking a box.

“I have something to show you,” he told me. I looked at him skeptically as he took my hand and led me back towards his bedroom.

“I think I’ve already seen it,” I joked. He just rolled his eyes at me.

To my surprise he took a detour and led me to the door of one of the guest rooms in his house instead of his room. I looked at him in confusion and waited for him to say something. Instead he just smiled at me before slowly turning the doorknob and opening the door. When I looked in, my breath caught in my throat.

The bed that had been in there was gone, replaced by an easel. The dresser was replaced with shelving that held an assortment of paints and brushes. A desk and small couch were the only other furnishings in the room. I stepped in and inspected the selection on the shelves and found that he’d gotten the same stuff I always used.

“It’s so you can paint if you want while you’re here,” I heard him say from the doorway.

Tears filled my eyes at the gesture. He knew how much I enjoyed painting and how therapeutic it was for me. For him to convert an entire room in his house into a studio just for me went above and beyond what anyone had ever done for me. A strange new feeling seemed to overtake me, and I wasn’t quite sure what it was.

“What? How? When?” I blabbered.

“Yesterday while you were at work,” he explained.

“Thank you,” I choked out, when I finally turned back to him.

He closed the distance between us and pulled me into a hug, placing a kiss on my forehead in the process. I clung to him as the tears slid down my cheeks. My whirling emotions were getting the best of me right now and I was struggling to understand what this new sensation was.

All I knew was that my heart was pounding, my head was spinning, and I felt nauseous in an almost pleasant way. This was something I’d never felt before and I wasn’t used to not being able to rationalize my emotions. I pulled back a little and looked up at him. As I looked into Patrick’s eyes he took a hand and gently wiped the tears away.

I saw something then, swimming in his eyes that made me understand. I felt like it was suddenly plain as day and like I should have known all along. The word pounded through my brain. Love. This was what being in love felt like. I let my hands fall away from around Patrick as I tried to swallow back the lump forming in my throat. Suddenly the nausea wasn’t so pleasant feeling anymore.

“Are you okay?” he asked, concern replacing what I’d just seen in his eyes. I nodded even as I backed away from him.

“Yeah. I think so. I’m just so surprised,” I lied. He smiled at me again and pulled me back in to him.

I had been hit way too suddenly with this realization to be okay in the least bit. He tilted my chin up so that I was looking at him again and he lowered his mouth to mine. As I kissed him back I fought the urge to pull away and run. I wasn’t prepared for this. I wasn’t ready for this to be happening.










Patrick lay awake, Gabrielle in his arms. She was tucked into him, fitting together like two puzzle pieces that belonged. He could smell the light flowery scent emanating from her hair, and while that usually was enough to put a smile on his face, it wasn’t doing the trick tonight. Instead he was wondering if he’d gone too far.

He didn’t know why it hadn’t occurred to him that setting up an extra room in his house strictly for Gabby’s use would get to her. At the time he’d just thought that she’d appreciate what he’d done for her. When he saw her reaction he knew what he’d actually done. It was like he could actually see every emotion she was feeling clear as day.

At first when she’d seen the room, he could see how happy and appreciative she’d been. She’d been shocked and yet overjoyed by it. When she’d clung to him, the tears in her eyes, he’d been right there. He’d almost blurted it out. He’d almost told her that he loved her, forgetting what she’d said to him months ago.

He knew she felt it too. He could read it in her eyes when she’d looked up at him and he’d wiped the tears away. He could feel her rapidly beating heart as she was pressed against him. Seeing that look on her face, in her eyes, had almost cost him all the progress he’d made with her.

It sounded strange, but he felt like she knew he was about to say it. His mouth was about to open to tell her when he saw fear wipe away all other emotions on her face. Her body had stiffened and she’d backed away from him. He could see the inner turmoil over what was happening written all over her expressions. She’d told him that she was okay, but he knew that was a lie.

He also knew that calling her out on it would have been an even bigger mistake. She’d told him not to fall in love with her. It was too late for that, but then again he’d always felt that she’d actually meant she didn’t want to hear him say it. Now he knew that she wasn’t ready for it. She wasn’t ready to hear him tell her that, even if he was positive she felt the same way.

And that was something else. He didn’t think anyone else got to be as lucky as he was. He got to actually witness the moment when the girl he was in love with fell in love with him. He could see it happen. It was a moment he wouldn’t soon forget.

Suddenly, he was yanked out of his thoughts when Gabby bolted upright in bed with a yell. She ripped herself from his grasp and struggled to get her ragged breathing under control. He could see sweat glistening on her brow in the moonlight shining into the bedroom.

“Hey, Gabby, it’s okay. I’m here. You’re okay,” he told her gently, calmly, as he reached out for her.

She let him pull her back into him. He held her as her body shook from whatever nightmare she’d just had. Like he’d done a few times before, he pressed his forehead against hers and placed her hand on his chest. He didn’t have to say anything. She understood what he was doing and her breathing soon returned to normal.

“I’m sorry,” she apologized in a whisper.

“You don’t ever have to apologize to me,” he responded.

She looked up at him for the first time and he saw it there again in her eyes. This time he wasn’t going to make the mistake. He didn’t want to see her love for him disappear again. Instead he placed a kiss on her forehead, the tip of her nose, and then her lips before pulling her back down to the bed. He wrapped his arms around her as she rested her head on his chest. He waited until she couldn’t see his eyes again before he let the thought run through his mind. I love you, Gabby.