Thursday, August 26, 2010

Chapter 33

A few weeks had passed and I was still at Patrick’s place, the police still hadn’t found Vince, and I was feeling more and more stressed. Every day that went by without word on Vince made me worry just a little more. Where was he and what was he planning? I’d become paranoid, studying the faces of every person I saw making sure he wasn’t following me. I’d even become grateful for the rides to and from work from Patrick and Paige.

Even though I was feeling less and less stable every day, I kept it all inside for Patrick. Pre-season had started and he was back to the grind. Then he’d had to go to Finland for a couple of games and I had stayed with Paige while he was gone. I couldn’t put any more stress onto Patrick with his season underway. I especially didn’t want to alter anything since he’d scored a goal in each of the first three games he’d played.

I sat in my office, staring blankly at a file that I couldn’t have identified if asked about it. Too much was on my mind, and admittedly I’d been slacking when it came to work lately. I hadn’t wanted to be like that, and I hated myself for it, but I couldn’t help it. A knock on my door jolted me out of my thoughts and I smiled as I waved Gia in.

“Hey, Gia, how are you?” I asked. She didn’t look upset, but we didn’t have an appointment, so I didn’t know the reason for this visit. She’d actually been doing much better since she’d opened up to me, and we didn’t currently have any appointments scheduled at all.

“I’m good,” she replied, but didn’t offer up any more than that.

“Is there something you wanted to talk about?” I pushed after a moment of silence between us.

“Not really.” She was quiet again, but there had to be a reason she was here. “My parents finalized their divorce yesterday.” There it was.

“How do you feel about that?” I was almost tempted to congratulate her. She’d told me before how much better things had been once she’d talked to her parents and told them what their fighting was doing to her. Gia shrugged, and then a small smile formed on her lips.

“I feel bad saying it, but it’s nice. They’re in such better moods now. There’s no more fighting. They can even get along when they see each other,” she told me. I smiled back at her.

“I’m glad that it seems to have been the right thing to do.”

“Yeah, and my dad got a place just a couple blocks away so I can see him whenever I want to.”

“It’s nice that you’ll still have both of them around. It shows how much they care about you.” Gia smiled and nodded before falling quiet once again. This time I waited her out to see what else she wanted to say. “I have something for you.”

“For me? What is it?” I asked, not expecting this at all. She pulled something out of her backpack and opened it up. “Is that your portfolio?”

“Yeah, it is. I just started working on it not too long ago. I wanted to have something together when I started applying to college. I’m going to go for photography,” she explained.

“That’s great,” I told her enthusiastically. “It’s good to know what you want in life. You’re luckier than most.” I watched her pull something out of her portfolio.

“My dad took me to Yellowstone this summer so we could spend some time together since I’m living with Mom. I took a lot of pictures, and this one just reminded me of you. I thought you might want to have it.”

She handed the photo over to me. I saw that it was a photo of the sunrise in Yellowstone, but it was so much more than that. The sunrise was the subject of the photo, but the way the light played on the difference surfaces, the mist that rose up, nearly took my breath away. It wasn’t just beautiful, but it held hope in it. For whatever reason as I looked at it, I felt hopeful, like it represented a new beginning.

“It’s an amazing photo. Thank you so much for thinking of me. I love it,” I told her sincerely. She was beaming over at me when I looked back up at her.

“Well, I have to get to class.”

“I’ll write you a pass,” I offered when I heard the bell ring. I wrote one and then handed it over to her. “I’d love to see your portfolio when you’re done with it, if you don’t mind.” She smiled at me again.

“I’ll bring it in.” With that she turned and walked out of my office.

I glanced back down at the photo in my hand and fought back the tears that wanted to spill from my eyes. I didn’t quite know why it was affecting me so much, or how Gia seemed to know that it would. I just knew that I wanted how it made me feel to be right. I wanted to be happy and hopeful again. I wanted out of the funk I’d been in. Maybe when Vince was caught I would get a new beginning. I put the photo in a drawer, telling myself I would go get a frame immediately and hang it in my office. Then I forced myself to get out of my head and back to work.










Patrick kissed Gabrielle goodbye before walking out of the house. It was the first home game of the season and he was headed in to the rink. He hated leaving Gabby alone in the house, even if it was just for a couple hours, but it couldn’t be helped. He couldn’t be there all the time.

If one good thing had come out of any of this however, it was that she’d been with him all the time. She’d been living at his house for a few weeks now, and he had no complaints. He loved having her around, being there for every meal, sleeping next to him each night. He didn’t want her to leave, ever. But that was a whole other story.

That was not a topic he could just bring up with Gabrielle. She’d be resistant to the idea and he knew it. It went right along with the fact that he couldn’t just come out and tell her he loved her. It would have to be done at the right time, the right way, or she would just panic and run. That was the last thing he wanted.

Sure, it was frustrating to not be able to tell her how he really felt about her. It was taking more and more effort not to just blurt out the ‘I love you’ to her. Even if the police finding Vince would put her back in her apartment, which is something he didn’t want, he couldn’t tell her he loved her until all of this was resolved. She had too much on her mind to add anything else.

He pulled into the parking lot and got out of his car. It had only been three games, and the team had a 1-1-1 record, but this season felt good. He’d scored in each of the first three games, and something felt different this time around. They had a special team and he knew it. This could be the year for them. This team had the ability to win the Cup.

And wouldn’t that be a hell of a year for him? Win the Cup, fall in love, and move in with his girlfriend. The thought put a giant smile on his face. Once inside the locker room he pushed thoughts of Gabrielle out of his head, which was harder to do these days than it had been last season, and prepared for the game.

Later that night he walked out of the locker room happy with a win. He stepped foot into the family room and immediately Gabrielle’s eyes met him and lit up, followed by a smile. He joined her conversation with some of the others for a few minutes and a debate about going to get some food and drinks came up.

“What do you think?” he asked her, fine with any decision she made.

He wanted her to want to go out, because she hadn’t done much of that lately. Mostly she’d been staying locked up in the house unless she was at work. She’d been too afraid to be out anywhere, afraid that she’d run into Vince. Even so, he wasn’t going to be the least bit upset if she didn’t want to either.

“Maybe we could go just for a little bit,” she answered a little hesitantly. Everyone knew what was going on, and he saw them all smile at Gabby.

A large group of the team went out to get some food so she was surrounded by a lot of people that wouldn’t let anything happen to her. That seemed to loosen her up some, and make her forget about Vince. They stayed longer than he’d expected them to, which was fine with him. Gabrielle’s smiles and laughter had been too sparse lately.

When they returned home he immediately changed out of his suit and found Gabrielle standing at the back door watching Dudley and Loxley run around the backyard. Still too amped from the game to be even remotely tired he plopped down on the couch and turned on the TV, putting on NHL Network to see what others teams had done that night.

He heard the sound of paws running across the floor seconds before he was bombarded by the two dogs. He laughed, gave them some attention, before they had their fill and began to expend the last bit of their energy playing together. It was then that Gabrielle walked over, and instead of sitting next to him, she curled right up on his lap.

“Thank you,” she told him.

“For what?” he asked. She placed a kiss on his forehead before answering.

“Doing all that you have the past few weeks. I don’t know what I would have done if I didn’t have you,” she told him. He kissed her before they settled back and watched TV together.

A little while later they got ready for bed and crawled in together. Patrick thought again about how nice it was to have Gabby there to hold every night. After giving her a kiss goodnight he pulled her into his arms and closed his eyes. She fell asleep before him and he opened his eyes just to watch her sleep for a little while. She was always so beautiful when she slept. Then he couldn’t help himself. She was asleep after all.

“I love you, Gabby,” he whispered, just feeling better having said it out loud.

He knew he had to wait until all of this was over to tell her when she could hear him, but it couldn’t hurt to tell her when she was asleep. Maybe if he did it each night it would subliminally make its way into her mind and it would be less difficult for her when he did eventually tell her. He settled back into bed, a smile on his face, and fell asleep alongside her.

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

Chapter 32

Patrick sat there with Gabrielle in the lobby and listened to her explain to the police about Vince. He held her hand while they waited to find out if it was possible that Vince had been the one to break into her apartment. He felt sick with her when he found out it probably had been. He became angry when he found out her family knew Vince was out of jail and didn’t tell her.

Gabrielle’s parents and sisters became the first people in his life he officially hated. He had already had issues with the way they’d treated Gabrielle when she was growing up, and now this. It just baffled him that people could be like that. She was their flesh and blood, and even after knowing she was a changed person, they still did this to her.

“I think we have all we need for right now from you. You should go get some rest. We will be in your apartment for a while longer collecting evidence. Is there someplace you can go?” the officer Gabrielle had requested to talk to asked.

“You can stay with me,” Patrick said without hesitation. He’d made up his mind a long time ago that she was staying with him. There was no way he could let her back into that apartment while the person who had done that was still out there.

“Thanks,” she whispered. He could see how scared and defeated she was right now, and it killed him. This wasn’t the Gabrielle he’d known for the last year.

“I’d also advise you not to return here until whoever did this is caught,” Officer Monahan suggested. Gabrielle nodded her head but didn’t respond.

“Thank you,” Patrick told the officer as he helped Gabrielle up and out of her seat.

After giving the police his address and phone number he grabbed the leashes for both dogs and led Gabrielle out to his car. The drive to his house was silent except for the sounds of the collars on the dogs in the back. Patrick wasn’t sure what to say, if there was anything, to help Gabby right now.

Once inside Gabby just headed straight for the bedroom and got into bed. Patrick made sure there was food and water available for the dogs before following her in. He found her curled up in a ball, eyes wide and staring off. He got into bed behind her and wrapped his arms around her.

“Try to sleep,” he whispered before placing a kiss on her temple. She didn’t respond, but he hadn’t expected her to.

The next morning he awoke to find himself alone in bed. A brief moment of fear struck him, but he quickly pushed that away. He got out of bed, and guessed on where Gabby might be. He poked his head in the doorway of the room he’d turned into her studio to find her sitting in front of a canvas covered only in a deep, almost black, purple.

The paint looked to be dry, yet Gabrielle had the paintbrush still in her grasp. She must have been sitting there, staring at the canvas for a long time. He wasn’t sure if he should say something, walk in quietly, or just leave her alone. He made his decision and walked quietly into the room, stopping beside her.

“Do you believe in past lives?” she asked, still continuing to stare at the canvas.

“What?” He wasn’t sure he’d heard her right.

“Past lives. Karma. Reincarnation. Anything like that. Do you believe in it?” she asked again.

“Not really,” he responded. “Why?”

“If any of that’s true, I must have been a serial killer.” There was no hint of humor in her voice. She’d meant it. He knelt down next to her and forced her to look at him.

“You did not cause this. This happened because there is some sick asshole out there who doesn’t like that you stood up to him.”

“It’s not just him. It’s everything. My whole life.” A single tear dropped from one eye, and he wiped it away immediately.

“Your past is only about a third of your total life. You have another two-thirds, and hopefully more left to enjoy, to have fun, to be happy, to do good things. I promise you that the rest of your life will look nothing like what you’ve gone through so far. Do you hear me? I promise.”

She nodded as she continued to look into his eyes. He saw that she struggled with what he said, but she wanted to believe him. He could see the hope in her eyes. There was no way he was going to break that promise. He was going to make sure that she lived an amazing life. He wouldn’t ever let anything bad happen to her again.










The latest coworker walked out of my office and I narrowed my eyes at their back. If one more person stepped foot in here to offer advice, condolences, a place to stay, or so on, I would scream. I’d only been away from the school for a day, but everyone seemed to know what had happened. Bad news travels fast, I guess.

I knew I shouldn’t be angry with them for wanting to make sure I was okay. I also knew I wasn’t actually angry at them. It was just the transference of anger from Vince, who was still missing, to people who were actually physically there.

Some people, Isaiah included, thought it was too early for me to be back at work. I didn’t see it that way. Work gave me something to do, something else to worry about. If I stayed at Patrick’s, I would just spend my day thinking about my apartment and Vince. Besides, there were kids here who needed my help. I couldn’t let them down.

“Should I reschedule?” Nathan asked, poking his head into my office. I groaned before motioning him in.

“You too?” He just shrugged.

“I get it. If you had a nickel for every time someone asked if you were okay…..” He let his voice trail off.

“Exactly. And I’m fine, for the record,” I lied. He smiled back at me. “So tell me how classes are going.”

I walked out of school a few hours later, as annoyed as I’d ever felt. Tomorrow I was putting a sign on my door telling everyone to just leave me alone unless they had a real problem. I was also not happy with leaving school earlier than I cared to today. I had things I wanted to work on, but I couldn’t.

I caught sight of Patrick’s car parked right out front. God, I felt like a teenager with a curfew. Well, what I assumed a teenager who had ever obeyed curfew felt like. Patrick and Paige together had decided I was no longer to be left on my own. Patrick drove me to school and picked me up, unless he couldn’t and then Paige took over. Just until Vince, or whoever had broken into my apartment, was caught. It was ridiculous and overboard.

“How was your day?” Patrick asked as I got into the car. I turned my annoyed glare onto him. “Okay, I get it.”

We were silent the rest of the trip back to his house. I wanted nothing more than to just close myself off from the world right now. Thankfully I had a very understanding and perceptive boyfriend. When we pulled within sight of Patrick’s house I noticed an unmarked, but unmistakable, police car in the driveway. Quentin was leaning against the side of it.

“Officer Monahan,” Patrick greeted him with a handshake when we got out of the car.

“I’m sorry if I’m bothering you, but we have some news. Would you mind if I came inside?” he asked us. We invited him in and sat across from him in the living room.

“What’s going on?” I asked, wondering what this news was, hoping they'd found Vince.

“We had a hit on some fingerprints we found in your apartment. We can confirm that Vince Watts was in your apartment at some point and is our main suspect.”

Although I’d been expecting to hear that it was Vince, and I’d had a feeling it was him all along, it still sent a ripple of shock and fear through me. Part of me had hoped that it wasn’t him, that I didn’t have to worry, and that I didn’t have to blame my family for not informing me that he was out of jail. That last bit of hope had just been crushed.

“So what now?” Patrick asked. It had been my question, but I felt like I couldn’t speak.

“We’re looking for him. We hope this was just one angry act of destruction, but he did break the conditions of his parole just by skipping out of town, so he is going back to prison no matter what. If you see him or hear from him it’s important you let us know.” I nodded, but still couldn’t get any words out.

“We will definitely let you know,” Patrick answered for me. Quentin stood up from his spot and Patrick and I both stood as well.

“I’ll keep you up to date on any new developments. We hope this can be resolved quickly without any more problems.”

We walked Quentin to the door and Patrick and he exchanged a few more words before he got into his car and left. I stood in the doorway watching him drive away until he was out of sight, still reeling at the confirmation that Vince knew where I was and where I lived. There was no doubt in my mind that this wasn't just a onetime thing.

“What happens if he’s still looking for me?” I asked Patrick, the words I’d wanted to say finally making their way out.

“Nothing, because I’m not letting anything happen to you. I made you a promise, remember?” I nodded, and wondered if this was one that he could keep.

Monday, August 2, 2010

Chapter 31

People always say that bad things come in three’s. I’d never believed that. To me, bad things just always came. My whole life was one bad thing after another. Well, that was the case until I met Patrick. Suddenly there were no bad things anymore, just good. For a year, despite some of my reservations and feelings, I’d been happy.

I should have known that couldn’t last. I should have known that I only drew in any bad or negative energy, no matter how hard I tried to fix any wrongs I’d committed. Now as I stood outside, seeing the night glow in red and blue from the police cars surrounding me I saw that the last year had just been a fluke.

“Could you go over what happened one last time?” Quentin, who was only here investigating because I’d refused to talk to anyone else, asked.

I looked up into the familiar officer’s eyes wishing like hell that we were meeting because I was bailing out another one of my students instead of what I’d found tonight. I nodded and for the third time, I told the story again, starting at the beginning.










“Loxley, come on,” I groaned out in exasperation. Patrick, Dudley, and I stood impatiently on the sidewalk waiting for Lox to finish sniffing some scent he currently found fascinating. “Even the basset hound isn’t sniffing around this much tonight!”

“It’s fine,” Patrick tried to assure me, with a little laugh. I turned and glared at him.

“It’s raining,” I shot back.

We’d just gotten to my complex from spending the weekend at Patrick’s. That had become our routine. During the week we saw each other at night when I was out of work and Patrick didn’t have anything for hockey. On weekends when I wasn’t working, I stayed at his house. On Sunday nights when I had work in the morning, Patrick stayed at my place.

Finally Loxley gave up and trotted towards the entrance to the building. I followed him and led everyone inside, shaking off all the moisture that had collected on my clothes and in my hair. The elevator arrived and we piled on, taking it up to my floor. I didn’t pay attention to where we were walking as I talked to Patrick while we walked down the hall. Suddenly I ran right into Loxley, who had come to a dead stop.

“Lox, what the hell?!” I yelled, wondering what had gotten into my dog tonight.

He still didn’t move, just stayed frozen in place staring straight ahead. I watched in shock as the hair on his back began to stand on end. As if that wasn’t enough, he began to emit a low growl. Before I could tell him to stop, Dudley joined him with a growl of his own, also staring straight ahead.

Wondering what was going on, I glanced up, not immediately seeing anything suspicious. Upon further inspection I noticed a crack of light coming from my doorway. It was partially open and I knew there was no way I’d left it open all weekend. I reached a hand out and grasped onto Patrick’s arm.

“I see it,” he told me. I began to move forward, but he held out an arm to stop me. “Someone might still be in there.” He handed me Dudley’s leash and began walking towards my apartment himself.

“Maybe you shouldn’t go either,” I said. He ignored me and continued on, walking through the door. I only hesitated for a moment before following him, cautiously.

I stepped foot into the apartment and felt the breath leave me when I saw what it now looked like. I could only see a little bit of the apartment, but what I could see was a disaster. My stuff was strewn all over the floor and everything that had been on the walls was now littered all over the floor.

I moved further into the apartment, clinging to the dog leashes like they were my lifeline. I was only met with further chaos and destruction when more of the apartment came into view. Cupboards were open and empty, the contents emptied all over the place. Glass was shattered in places and paintings destroyed. More shockingly, the words ‘whore’ and ‘slut’ were painted on the walls in colors I knew I had in the studio.

“Whoever did this is gone now,” Patrick told me, walking over.

I couldn’t form words as I dropped the leashes to the floor and surveyed what had once been my organized apartment. I made my way over to one of my paintings that was lying on the ground and bent down to pick it up. That was when the frame lying next to it came into view. I reached over and picked up the photo of Patrick and I. The glass had been shattered and I had been defaced in it.

“I’ll call the police,” I heard Patrick say.

I could only nod as I stood up and began to collect all the pictures I’d had in the apartment. All of them had my face destroyed in one way or another while anyone else in the picture was left alone. I began to feel sick as I looked between them to the words painted on my walls and tears built in my eyes.

“They’re on the way,” Patrick told me, taking the pictures from my hands. I heard him curse under his breath when he saw them. “It’ll be okay.”

I let him pull me into his arms and think he was comforting me, when he wasn’t even close to doing so. Eventually I pulled away and began to walk back to look into my studio and bedroom. Patrick caught up to me and took hold of my arm to stop me.

“We shouldn’t walk all over. It might contaminate evidence the police will need,” he said.

It made sense, but I could see in his eyes that there was something else. I nodded and he let go of my arm. He turned to walk out of the apartment figuring I would be behind him, but I wasn’t. I continued on and looked into the studio. It was just as destroyed as the rest of the apartment, but that was it. When I made it to my bedroom doorway I froze in place, my stomach tying itself into knots.

My chest started to tighten, and I struggled to keep oxygen flowing into my lungs. This couldn’t be happening. There was no way this should be happening. I looked in at my bed where the covers had been torn off and blood red paint had been splattered all over the mattress, a knife stabbed right into the center of the stain. My eyes travelled to the wall behind my bed and took in the words written there.

Be seeing you.

“Gabby, come on,” I faintly heard Patrick say.

I vaguely felt him lead me out of the room and my apartment as my head started to spin. I was gasping for breath now as the panic attack hit me with full force. Soon I was sitting on the floor, Patrick in front of me, holding on and trying to coax me out of it. Eventually I was able to breathe again, but I was in a fog.

I hardly noticed when the police arrived. Patrick left me sitting on the floor in the hallway with a neighbor who had come out to help with me. He led the police into the apartment so they could survey the scene. My stomach lurched at the thought. My apartment was now a crime scene.

Feeling like I needed to get out of there, I jumped up and ran towards the stairwell, not wanting to wait for the elevator. I heard someone yelling my name, but I continued to run, all the way down the stairs and until I was out the door. I bent over the bushes lining the walkway and threw up. Then I collapsed down onto the ground, the rain not bothering me at all this time.

“Miss, are you okay?” an officer asked me, following Patrick out the door. I just nodded, but kept my eyes trained on an invisible spot on the ground, fighting the urge to be sick again. “We need to ask you some questions.” I directed my gaze up to him and shook my head.

“Quentin Monahan,” I said. Patrick and the officer looked at me in confusion.

“I’m sorry?” the officer asked.

“Quentin Monahan. I’ll only talk to Officer Monahan,” I explained. I don’t know why I was requesting him, but for some reason I felt I could only talk to him. I heard the officer make a call before he told me Quentin was on his way.

A while later I was sitting in the lobby of the complex, a towel around my shoulders, Patrick beside me holding my hand. I glanced over at him and saw that he looked both worried and angry. Quentin was sitting beside me taking notes on my story. He was called away by another officer who whispered something to him, and Quentin looked grim as he walked back over to me.

“It’s been confirmed. Vince Watts is out of jail and he’s skipped out on his parole officer. They haven’t located him in a month,” Quentin explained. My stomach lurched again, and I closed my eyes, fighting back the sickness.

“How did this happen? I was supposed to be notified when he got out of jail. He beat and raped me! They said they’d tell me!” I yelled, panic beginning to settle in again.

“That’s the thing,” Quentin began. “The police in St. Louis claim they did.”

I was about to argue with him and tell him that I’d never heard anything from them when a new wave of nausea hit me. The phone call I’d received from Kaylen a few months before suddenly popped into my head. They couldn’t have. They just couldn’t have.

“When did he get out?” I asked, my voice shaking.

“I was told he was released back at the very beginning of June,” he responded.

New tears sprung up into my eyes and began to fall down my face. He was released at the same time Kaylen called me. The police had notified my family that Vince had been released and they hadn’t told me. My family knew where I was and they chose not to tell me that the man who had beaten and raped me was free. Even worse was that they hadn’t told the police where I was so they could notify me. Now he was in Chicago and looking for revenge.

“They knew,” I whispered to Patrick.

“Who knew?” he asked.

“My family. They knew and they chose not to tell me. They hate me so much they wouldn’t even warn me,” I choked out.

Patrick wrapped his arms around me and pulled me into him. I could hear his voice saying something to me, but I didn’t hear the words. I couldn’t believe that they would do that to me. And yet I shouldn’t have been surprised. They had killed me off after all. Then I remembered something else Kaylen said. She said they had been arguing about what to do. That meant someone had wanted me to know. I couldn’t help but wonder which one of them that was.