Chapter 41

I stood in the bathroom staring at my reflection in the mirror. It was time to end this, to put this chapter of my life behind me. Hopefully for good this time. Patrick walked in and wrapped his arms around my waist.

“Ready to go?” he asked. I sighed.

“No, but I don't have a choice.” He placed a kiss on my forehead. When he let go I turned and followed him out of the room. It was time for court.

About a month ago Patrick and I went out for dinner. I didn't leave the house much unless it was for work, but he'd convinced me to go that night. We pulled into the driveway and found Quentin sitting in a chair on the front porch. He stood up when he saw us and I eyed him warily as I got out of the car.

“Sorry to be waiting, but I wanted to give you the news in person.” My breath caught in my throat. Could it be? “We got him.”

I hadn't been sure how I'd respond to the news. Would I laugh? Cry? Jump up and down? Fist pump like I'd seen Patrick do after a goal? Moonwalk? I did none of the above. My legs turned to jelly and I sank to the ground. Patrick and Quentin both rushed to my side.

“Gabby! Are you okay?” Patrick asked, kneeling down next to me. I looked up at him wide eyed and shrugged.

“I don't know.” He helped me inside and Quentin followed.

I sat on the couch and listened to what Quentin had to say. When he finished was when my laughter started. Apparently Vince had been staying in some fleabag motel you could rent by the hour under some alias. Prostitution was also prevalent at this place. A hooker got arrested and in a desperate attempt to stay out of prison for the third time she gave Vince up. The case had become a little high profile because of Patrick and she'd seen it on the news.

Now I was walking into the courthouse for the first day of the trial. Despite the evidence, Vince had plead not guilty and now I have to go through a trial with him all over again. I sat in a row and listened to the DA's opening argument as Patrick held my hand. When he was done it was time for Vince's lawyer. I clenched my jaw as I was portrayed as vengeful, as someone looking to put a person who made a mistake in the past back in jail because I was still angry. He said that instead of bringing the real criminal to justice I was trying to pin it on an innocent man I couldn't forgive. He said a lot of bullshit. I could feel Patrick's hand tightening on mine at everything Vince's lawyer said.

When the first part of the trial was over I was partly relieved and partly sick. It had gotten started so it would be over soon. I also still had to get on the stand and describe what he'd done to me and that was never easy.

We walked out into the hallway with the DA. He was telling us what would come next and what to expect. Patrick was listening and I was tuned out. While this was the first trial he'd experienced, I'd been through this before. I was looking around at all the other unfortunate people who had to go to court. And then I stopped dead in my tracks.

Standing on the other side of the hallway was someone I never expected to see. She was standing there looking at me and wringing her hands nervously. I was too in shock to do anything more than stand there and stare back at her. That was when Patrick realized I was no longer walking next to him.

“Gabrielle?” he called back to me. I didn't answer because she'd started making her way over to me.

“Hi,” she said quietly.

“Hi,” I repeated awkwardly. Patrick was now standing at my side, his hand on my back, looking between the two of us. Then his hand tightened on me and I knew he recognized her. “What are you doing here, Bailey?”

“I heard that the trial was starting and I wanted to be here,” she told me. I didn't get it. I didn't know why she'd come. Plenty of things had happened in my life that she'd been absent for, so why was this one any different?

“Thanks.” I wasn't sure what else to say. I hadn't seen my sister in 10 years. Suddenly I saw her eyes fill with tears and she covered her mouth with her hands.

“I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. This is my fault. All of it. I should have been there. I'm your older sister and I abandoned you and you almost died. I don't know how you could ever forgive me. I just know that even though I wasn't there for you in the past when you needed someone, I'm going to be here now, as long as you'll have me.”

I didn't know what to do or say. I hadn't spoken to Bailey in 10 years and now suddenly she was standing here in front of me telling me that she was here to support me. I'd never seen my sister in distress, and I'd never seen her cry. I didn't think she was capable of it. Now I struggled between shock, anger, and hope as I watched her.

“Why don't you come back to our house? We'll talk there,” I suggested.

I knew full well that we couldn't have any sort of conversation standing here in the middle of the courthouse in front of hundreds of people. I didn't know what direction the conversation would take and I wouldn't chance an argument. And despite it all, I didn't want people seeing Bailey cry the way she was. I may not know my sister well, but I knew that was something she wouldn't want.

Bailey followed us back home and parked on the street. I held the door open for her and Loxley and Dudley greeted her at the front door. She widened her eyes in surprise at the two dogs winding themselves around her legs, tails wagging, before smiling and bending down to pet them both.

“I always wished Mom and Dad would let me have a dog,” she said as she accepted kisses from them both. That took me by surprise as well. I'd had no idea she liked dogs, or animals in general.

I led her into the living room and Patrick offered to get us something to eat or drink. We both declined, and he left us alone to talk. Bailey and I looked everywhere but at each other in an uncomfortable silence for what seemed like forever. I finally realized that someone needed to get this started and decided to just dive right in.

“I don't want to be rude, and I don't want you to take this the wrong way, but I don't understand why you're here. Why now?” I asked. Bailey took a deep breath before answering.

“I feel guilty about everything. I have for a long time, but didn't know how to try to fix it. When this happened, I felt responsible and I had to come. I wanted to see if there would be a chance that you could ever forgive us.”

I was about to ask her why she could possibly feel guilty or responsible for what happened when it hit me. The family meeting Kaylen had called me about that had ended up being about Vince getting out of jail. I felt like someone had wanted to tell me. Now I knew. Bailey had wanted to warn me. Knowing that made sitting here across from her a little bit easier.

“They wouldn't let you tell me, would they?” I asked quietly, not wanting to hear the answer, but needing to. Bailey seemed just as reluctant to tell me.

“Mom and I tried, but they wouldn't listen,” she said, her voice filled with shame.

“Mom? Mom wanted to tell me?” I couldn't believe it. I hadn't expected that. Not after the way she'd treated me my entire life.

“That surprises you?” Bailey asked.

“All of this surprises me.” My head was spinning with conflicting emotions, just trying to make sense of what was going on.

“I guess I deserve that.”

“I didn't mean it like that. I just didn't expect this. I didn't think I'd ever seen any of you again, and now I've seen you all within the last year. It's just difficult. Especially after my death.....” I let my voice trail off. I hadn't intended on bringing that up, but it just came out. Now it was out there. And Bailey groaned.

“I was never okay with that. I didn't even know they were going to do it. They never told me. I had to read it in the newspaper. I didn't speak to them for months.”

Another wave of surprise hit me. This hadn't been a family decision? Bailey hadn't wanted to do that to me? She'd actually defended me? I hadn't expected that, or any of this. I was happy about it, but then again, what would that have changed? She defended me after the fact. Where was she when I'd needed someone to defend me when I still had a chance?

“I wish I'd known that.” She turned her gaze to the floor and sighed.

“How could I tell you? I wasn't there for you when it mattered. I didn't speak to them, but I didn't search you out either. I'm not like you. I couldn't ever stand up to them. You were always so strong, even as a child. I envied that, and I think that's why. You were who I wish I was, and I resented that.” And the hits just kept on coming.

“Strong? I let the whole family run me over. I hit rock bottom. That's not being strong,” I told her. She shook her head.

“No, you were strong. You still are. You didn't let them turn you into someone you weren't. You stood up to them, became your own person. Maybe you fell down, but you got back up. Weak people can't overcome addiction, especially without any support from family. I didn't want to be the way I was growing up, but I was too scared to challenge them. I just did what they said and there's not a moment of my adult life that I don't regret it.”

I'd had no idea that Bailey had ever felt that way about. I was caught so off guard by the admission. Here I had been, a child wishing I was more like my older sisters, when one of them was wishing she was more like me.

Bailey and I continued to talk, and I could feel any anger I'd held towards her melting away. She hadn't abandoned me, she'd just been too worried about what my family would do to her. And then she hit me with a bombshell, one that made so much sense when she said it. My mother was terrified of my father.

He never physically abused her, but the things he said, the power he wielded kept her in constant fear. She couldn't so much as disagree with him or the threats of being out on the streets, poor, disgraced, and unwanted would start. She hadn't wanted to kick me out, she just didn't have a choice. She wanted to return Olivia and my phone calls, but she was too afraid of being caught. She wanted to talk to me, to see how I was doing, but he'd killed me. The one time she'd stood up for me was the day they'd come to the hospital. My father hadn't wanted to go, but she wouldn't let up, and she finally fought him until he gave in.

I was crying by the time Bailey finished. The signs were all there. They always had been. How had I not seen it? How had I not seen the fear my mother had lived with everyday? How had I not seen the monster that my father was? I was trained to notice these things, and I'd neglected to see it in my own parents. I felt horrible.

“She wanted to come today but she was afraid you wouldn't want her here,” Bailey finally told me. I wiped away tears and sniffed.

“Tell her I do. Tell her I want her here if she wants to be.”

Bailey nodded and we sat in silence for a while. We'd talked about everyone on the family. I knew about Rachel and her family. I knew that Rachel had sided with my father on everything, but Bailey was sure it was because she didn't know how to do anything else. Being the first daughter had made Rachel the guinea pig and the most easily controlled.

There was just one person we hadn't discussed. Apparently my thoughts were written all over my face.

“She's beautiful, you know,” Bailey said, breaking the silence. My breath caught in my throat as Bailey grabbed her purse.

“What?”

“Quinn. She's the spitting image of you. I can look at pictures of you at her age and can't tell the difference. She's stunning.”

My breath caught in my throat as I glanced down at the photo that Bailey handed me. I stared down at the image of my daughter. It was the first time I'd seen her since I'd left. New tears came as I stared into eyes that looked just like mine. I didn't know what to say, and I was pretty sure that even if I had, I wouldn't be able to speak.

“She doesn't just look like you. She is you. It's funny how someone who didn't grow up knowing you can be just like you. She's strong-willed, independent, intelligent, funny, and artistic. Half the time the only thing she wants to do is paint, just like you. She's good at everything she does, just like you were. She's perfect.”

Hearing about Quinn, listening to Bailey describe her was almost too much. It hurt to hear it, but I couldn't get enough. I grilled Bailey about her. I had to know everything, no matter how badly my heart ached. I didn't know my daughter at all and this was all I had right now. Maybe someday, but for today, this would do.

Bailey stayed for dinner, and Patrick and I invited her to stay with us. The day's revelations left me needing to have her around, to get to know her. I wasn't sure how I felt about everything, but I had time to figure it out. All I knew at the moment was that I had a sister sitting across from me at the dinner table telling stories and laughing. I'd never expected that to happen again, and it felt amazing.

Chapter 40

So sorry it's been pretty much forever since I've posted. I'm still around, don't worry, but on occasion my life happens to suck. Nothing major or awful has happened, but things just keep coming up and happening. There might be a small window in here where I can get some writing done, but then life is going to get crazy again for a bit. I can't promise anything, but hopefully it won't be this long again. I also have a kind of wacky idea. I had a dream the other night and when I woke up I realized I could totally turn it into a short story. I've already gotten a little bit of it written, but I'm not sure if I should post it or not, so I'm going to leave it up to you guys. It'll definitely be short, maybe 10-15 chapters. What I'm not sure of is how long it will take me to finish it. Do you want me to start posting it as I go, with possible long gaps between, or should I save it until I have time to finish? Your choice! Now on to our scheduled programming.....










It was quiet in my hospital room. It had been since the day before. There had been virtually no conversation between Patrick and I since my parents had walked out of the room. I was just spent and hadn’t been up to listening to an explanation of how Patrick had known my parents and they had known him. He hadn’t offered one up either.

He had stayed with me the rest of the day and night, but we’d just avoided talking. This morning looked like it was heading in the same direction. Patrick was here, sitting next to the bed, and we were just watching TV. The only other thing to do when you were stuck in a hospital bed was talk. I was ready to know now.

“Why did you go see my parents?” He turned his head and looked at me, not quite in surprise, but in uncertainty.

“I just wanted them to know what they’d done by not telling you that Vince was out of jail.” His explanation seemed true enough, it made sense, but he looked uneasy, like there was something else.

“You didn’t have to do that.” He let out a sigh and turned his entire chair to face me.

“There’s more.”

“What do you mean, ‘there’s more’?” I asked.

“I can’t stand what they did to you. When I got to the hospital and saw all the flowers and people that cared, I snapped. I wanted them to know that they didn’t just almost kill you by keeping things from you, but that they’d lost someone worth knowing. I wanted them to know that despite all they’d done, you’d become an amazing person in spite of them,” he said.

I wasn’t sure how to respond to that. It obviously made me think about that other thing we had to talk about. That whole, what are we going to do about our relationship now, thing. I knew I was going to have to start that conversation. It was me that ran out on him afterall. I figured now was as just as good a time as any.

“Patrick, I…..”

“Good morning, Miss Tunney. How are you feeling today?” my doctor asked, walking through the door, cutting me off.

“Better than yesterday,” I told him, like I had every other day he’d walked in here and asked.

He went over a few things, checking my chart, all the things doctor’s do when you’ve been laid up in the hospital for over a week. I had to pick a bunch of numbers on a scale of 1 to 10 to tell him how much things hurt, and so on. It was like being back in elementary school all over again.

“Well, Gabrielle, I have to say that things are going exactly the way we had hoped they would. I see no reason why we can’t discharge you today,” the doctor told me.

“Really? I can go home?”

I’d initially been excited and then the word hit me. Home. I didn’t have a home. Not one I could actually ever step foot into ever again. Where was I going to go? I forced a smile onto my face and thanked the doctor, even though I suddenly wished I had another week stuck in bed in a hospital.

“Do you have a way to get home?” he asked.

“I’ll give her a ride,” Patrick offered.

“Good. Then I’ll send a nurse in with the discharge papers in a little bit. You can set up an appointment to come back and see me so I can check on your progress.”

With that the doctor said goodbye and walked out of the room. I released a breath and turned to face the window. I didn’t know what I was going to do. Even if I managed to talk to Patrick before I was officially out of here, I didn’t think there’d be anyway that everything would be solved by then.

“So where am I taking you?” he asked.

“I can’t go home,” I whispered. Even just thinking about my apartment was bringing back some really bad memories that I only wanted to forget.

“No, I wouldn’t think you’d want to. Am I bringing you to Paige’s, a hotel?” he pushed.

I didn’t know how to respond or what to say. There was only one place I wanted to go, but it didn’t sound like it was going to be an option. I wanted nothing more than to have Patrick ask me to move in with him one more time. I wouldn’t make the same mistake and would accept this time around.

“I’m sorry,” I blurted out, surprising Patrick as he grabbed my things together.

“For what?” he asked.

“Walking out.” He sighed and sat down on the bed next to me.

“It hurt to come home and find that you were just gone, no explanation,” he told me. I’d never felt so ashamed about anything in my life.

“It’s not a good excuse, but I panicked. And then instead of just letting me take time you pushed even more on me. I wasn’t prepared and I didn’t know how to handle it. I’ve always run and so I did it again. I ran away from the best thing that’s ever happened to me and I’ve never regretted anything so much.”

The nurse came in then with the discharge papers. I went over everything, signing where I needed to. Then I made the appointment to return to see the doctor. When I was done, Patrick helped me out of the bed and into the bathroom so I could finally change out of the hospital gown and into my own clothes.

The nurse was waiting with the wheelchair when I came out. Patrick was already gone, having gone down to pull the car up to the door. Usually I would have fought taking the wheelchair out, but I was too weak and tired to fight. Patrick was there waiting when we got downstairs. He helped me into his car before he got in himself.

“If Vince hadn’t gotten to me, I was going to come see you Sunday,” I told him. I could tell that caught him off guard.

“Why?” he asked.

“To apologize for doing something I thought I was past doing. I panicked and I ran like I always used to do, and it wasn’t fair to you. Not after everything you’ve done for me. I shouldn’t have reacted like that. Most of all, I shouldn’t have lied to you.”

“I can’t say it didn’t hurt to find out that you would rather risk your own life than be with me.” A tear slipped down my cheek when he said that.

“I wasn’t thinking clearly. I thought I was. I thought I’d figured things out, but I hadn’t. It was just too many things all at once. My family, Vince, what you said, it was too much at once. Instead of being rational I threw away the best thing to ever happen to me. I can’t even imagine how badly I hurt you. I hate knowing that. I’m just so in love with you that I do crazy and stupid shit because I’m terrified that I’ll screw something up and then I just end up doing it anyway. I’d spend the rest of my life trying to make this all up to you if you’d let me, and even then I know it wouldn’t be enough.”

“Gabby, stop.” I did. I stopped talking. “Say it again.” I wasn’t sure what he meant. I looked at him, trying to figure it out when it hit me.

“I love you.”

“Jesus, I’d kiss you if I wouldn’t hurt you doing it.” I let out a small laugh as I lightly touched the split in my lip that still ached. “Am I pushing my luck if I ask if you’ll move in?” My smile grew.

“I was hoping you’d ask me again.” He smiled back at me and put the car into drive, taking us home.