Chapter 16

A week had passed since the night I’d taken Nathan to the game. Patrick and I had only been able to see each other once that week because of his schedule. It was getting to the point that I was realizing that I was going to have to get used to a distant relationship with him. We just weren’t going to be able to see each other as much as other couples might.

I thought about it even as I painted a scene that didn’t reflect my feelings on that at all. I’d woken up this Saturday morning feeling hopeful and a little dreamy. I couldn’t explain where that feeling had come from, but I also couldn’t say I hated it. As I worked on the painting I heard my phone ring. I noticed it was the number that would come up if someone was downstairs calling from the lobby directory.

“Hello?”

“Hey, it’s me.” I smiled at the unexpected sound of Patrick’s voice. “Dudley and I are downstairs and were wondering if we could come up.”

“Of course! I’ll buzz you in.” I hit the button on the phone necessary to unlock the door and then made my way to my apartment door to open it for them.

We hadn’t had any plans for today so I was caught a little off-guard. I glanced down at the paint stained sweats and t-shirt I was wearing as I self-consciously put a hand to my ponytail. There wasn’t time to change, so Patrick was just going to have to live with seeing me look like a mess. A moment later I heard him and Dudley walk through the door.

“Hey,” I greeted him when he walked around the corner, led by Dudley.

“Hi.” He walked immediately over to me and kissed me lightly. “I didn’t know you wore glasses.” I put a hand up to my face, touching the frame, suddenly remembering I was still wearing those, too.

“I don’t often. Usually I have my contacts in, but I just hadn’t gotten around to that yet today.”

“I think they look good on you.” I smiled into the second kiss he gave me.

“Not that I mind, but what are you doing here?” I asked.

“I got home after practice and realized that I’d have much more fun spending the day with you than spending it alone. I hope it’s okay that I just came over.”

“It is. I’m just sorry you had to walk in on me looking like this,” I told him, grabbing onto my t-shirt and glancing down at myself. He laughed.

“I really don’t mind,” he assured me.

“I was just painting, so I didn’t want to wear anything nice, you know?” He nodded in understanding.

“Can I see what you were working on?” he asked.

I smiled at his interest and led him back to my studio. I pointed at the painting that was maybe only half complete and waited to hear what he had to say. I was never nervous about showing anyone what I had painted. I held no delusions that I was the next Rembrandt or Picasso and I was very aware that people had differing tastes in art as well. Patrick looked at it for a while before he spoke.

“There are no people on the beach,” he commented.

“I know. It’s on purpose,” I told him.

“You don’t like painting people, or you didn’t want there to be people?” he asked.

“I didn’t want there to be people, or hotels, or tourist traps,” I explained.

“Why not?”

“Because that right there is paradise.”










Patrick glanced over at Gabrielle when she said that. He could tell by the tone of her voice that there was more to her calling it paradise than it being just a peaceful beach. Her gaze had changed as well, like she’d gone into the painting for a moment. He stayed quiet as he watched the faraway look in her eyes and wondered what had happened to her.

He had a feeling there was more to her strange silence about her past than just losing her family, but he’d never been sure before. Now he believed it even more as he watched her disappear from the moment. Her idea of paradise was away from people, away from everything. He knew losing family could be traumatic, but there just had to be more to her story than that.

As he watched her he saw light slowly come back into her eyes. He knew she was coming back from wherever she’d gone and just waited her out, not wanting to rush her. Finally she turned and looked at him, a smile forming on her face. He couldn’t help but smile back at her.

“I’m really glad you came over,” she said to him. He reached out and pulled her into him.

“I am too.”

They walked out of the studio and sat on the couch in the living room. They watched Dudley and Loxley run around playing with each other while they talked. After a while they decided to take the dogs for a walk in a nearby park. It felt surprisingly warm for a late afternoon in December, but Patrick wasn’t complaining.

They held hands as they walked. He was struck by how nice it was to be holding hands with someone as they walked their dogs. He’d never had that feeling with anyone before. It felt amazing and unsettling at the same time. If he wasn’t careful, he was going to fall for Gabrielle. He was already on his way. He’d be more than happy to willingly let it happen if it wasn’t for that secret of hers. He just wanted to know what it was before he let himself fall completely.

“I’m hungry. Do you want dinner?” she asked, as they walked back into her apartment.

“Yeah, dinner sounds great. What are you in the mood for?” he returned. She shrugged and then opened her refrigerator.

“Not sure. What about you?” He watched as she moved things around and opened drawers, before opening the freezer to do the same.

“Are you planning on cooking dinner?”

“You need a home cooked meal once in a while,” she told him, turning to look at him over her shoulder and raising an eyebrow. It was adorable.

“Well, thank you. Anything you want to make would be fine,” he assured her.

She got to work taking things out and placing them on the counter. He sat down at a stool at the island in the kitchen and watched her work. For someone who was not a cook like he was, he was amazed at her. She never measured a single thing. Just over an hour later when a plate of fantastic looking lasagna that Gabrielle had made from scratch was placed in front of him, he forgot about wanting to hold off on falling for her.

“This is amazing,” he complimented her.

She beamed over at him. He was telling the truth. He’d been to Italian restaurants run by real Italians that couldn’t cook lasagna half as well as she had. When they were done he grabbed her plate and took it to the sink, where he got to work doing dishes. It was the least he could do for a meal like that.

“What are you doing?” she asked.

“Doing the dishes,” he responded.

“I can see that. Why are you doing my dishes?”

“Because you cooked me dinner, so I should do the cleaning.” She smiled, sat back, and didn’t argue. When he was done, he walked over to where she was playing with the dogs. She turned to him, put her arms around his neck, and kissed him.

“Thank you for doing the dishes.”

“I’ll keep doing them too, if that’s the thanks I get.” She grinned up at him and kissed him again.










I don’t know where I got the balls to just walk up and kiss Patrick the way I did. I’d never been that kind of person. Somehow he just brought it out of me. Now as we stood there in the middle of my living room, kissing like the world would end if we stopped, I wondered why I’d spent so long avoiding guys. Then again, I somehow had the suspicion that no other guy would have made me feel like Patrick did.

His hands had been planted on my hips, but now he was running them slowly up my sides. I shivered at the touch, and pulled myself as close to him as I could get. The kiss became more and more desperate as we clung to each other and I was struck by a feeling I’d never felt in my life. I wanted him. I really wanted him.

Never before had I felt this need to be with someone before. It was a little unnerving and so right at the same time. I’m not sure who initiated the movement, but I soon realized that we were heading in the direction of my bedroom, our lips still connected. Part of me wanted to stop him, and the other part of me was making sure we made it there safely.

Once in the bedroom Patrick broke the kiss to trail his lips over my jaw and down my neck. I felt like everywhere he touched me was on fire, and I let out an involuntary moan. His hands trailed back down my sides and grabbed the hem of my shirt. They hesitated there for a moment, but once he realized I wasn’t going to stop him, he lifted my shirt over my head. I couldn’t have stopped him if I wanted to. He pulled away from me and looked into my eyes.

“If you don’t want to do this, tell me now. If we go any farther, I don’t know that I’ll be able to stop.”

I took in what he said and only hesitated for a second. Not trusting my words, I instead used my lips to kiss him long and hard. I realized I didn’t just want this, I felt like I needed it. It felt right and I had to know that my past experiences with this weren’t the real thing. I wasn’t at all let down. There were feelings, touches, emotions, I’d never experienced before. As we lay there cuddled up afterward I was struck by the feeling of being safe, satisfied, and happy. If I had been an emotional person, I might have cried.

“What happened to your arms?” Patrick asked me, running a hand over them. I took in a sharp breath as I looked down at them. I’d completely forgotten about the scars on my forearms. I’d never before forgotten about them. Now I covered them self-consciously.

“There was an accident,” I started, hesitating slightly. “The glass.” I let my voice trail off, not finishing the sentence.

I felt awful about the answer, and now was not the time to talk about it. Patrick’s only response was to take both of my arms and kiss his way down one and then up the other. The chills that ran through me were unexplainable. I’d always gone out of my way to keep the small scars covered, but now I resisted the urge to do that and cuddled back up to Patrick.

“What are your plans for Christmas?” he asked after a long silence. I turned my head at the unexpected question.

“Probably spending it here with Loxley like I usually do,” I told him. He didn’t say anything in response and I nestled back into the spot I’d been in.

“Come home with me,” he said a moment later. I bolted upright, bringing the sheets up with me, and putting some distance between us.

“I’m sorry, what?” He couldn’t have just said what I thought he did.

“Come home with me for Christmas,” he repeated. I shook my head vehemently.

“Patrick, I can’t…..it wouldn’t…..I just…..” He sat up as I stammered over my words.

“No one should spend Christmas alone. I want you to come with me. I want to spend Christmas with you.”

As I looked into his eyes I thought of a million reasons why I couldn’t possibly go home with him for Christmas. I continued to keep a small distance between us and shake my head no. Even as I did all of those things I heard myself tentatively agreeing. He smiled and pulled me back to him, placing a kiss on my forehead as he did so. I settled back down next to him, but my brain was going a mile a minute. I hadn’t spent a single Christmas with anyone for the last nine years because it had been too hard. What had I gotten myself into?

Chapter 15

I watched Gia walk out of my office sadly. She was lost and I had yet to figure out how to help her. I’d asked her to bring in some of her photography to show me, and she had. I thought maybe it would help spark conversation between us, but it had done the opposite. I didn’t know much about photography, but I knew that when I looked at her photos I felt overwhelmingly sad. She remained as tight lipped as ever, and I became even more worried about her.

I spent the next little while making notes on Gia and brainstorming possible ways to get her to open up and let me in. I added my notes to her file and packed them away just in time for my next appointment. Nathan walked in just on time, with a smile on his face. He greeted me cheerfully and plopped down on the couch.

“How’s school going this week?” I asked him. I knew most of the answer to that already, but I wanted to hear what he had to say.

“I just came from biology. I got a B on my last test,” he announced proudly. I grinned back at him.

“That’s great, Nathan. I’m really glad to hear that. How about on that English essay?” He shrugged.

“We haven’t gotten them back yet.”

We talked a little more about how things in school were going and then he segued into other subjects. I didn’t really care what we talked about as long as we were talking. In the last few weeks since Nathan had gotten into trouble, he’d been doing really well. He hadn’t missed any school, he’d been getting better grades, and as far as I knew he hadn’t gotten into any trouble. Of course, he knew this as well.

“So, the Hawks are at home Sunday evening,” he started hopefully. I glanced down at the calendar in front of me, where I’d written down all the games.

“They are, but it’s a 6:00 game. Pretty late with school the next day,” I replied. His smile turned into a pout.

“But Miss Tunney, it’s the last chance I’ll have to see a game until after Christmas! I’ve been doing really good lately!” he protested.

“Doing really well,” I corrected. He rolled his eyes at me and I refrained from laughing. “Okay, if you did better than a C on that English essay we’ll go.” He jumped up off the couch with a yell of excitement. I couldn’t help but laugh at his reaction.

He thanked me repeatedly before his session was over and he headed back to classes. I placed a call to his teacher and asked her to let me know what his grade was when she’d finished grading the papers. I wasn’t about to have Nathan pull a fast one over on me. I hoped for his sake that he’d done well. He was a smart kid and just needed a little push and some guidance to be successful.

Patrick and I had dinner that Thursday night, with it being his only available night that week because of games. I told him about my arrangement with Nathan and he promised to just leave the tickets, because he said he had faith in Nathan as well. We spent the majority of the dinner talking about students at school, anonymously of course. It was even more endearing to me that he seemed to care about them too.

The following day I received a phone call from Nathan’s English teacher informing me of the grade he’d gotten. I’d barely hung up the phone before Nathan burst through my office door. He ran in waving a stapled bundle of papers together. He thrust it in my face with a laugh.

“I got a B-!” he exclaimed. I took the paper from his hands and glanced down at the score written across the top.

“Yes, you did. Nice work.”

“So we can go to the game on Sunday?” I handed him back his paper and smiled.

“I’ll pick you up here at 4:30.” He let out a shout of glee before yelling another thanks to me and leaving to make it to his next class on time.

I did just that on Sunday. Nathan was waiting for me and got into the car when I pulled up. He talked away the entire trip there, and it was hard to keep the smile off of my face. Nothing made me happier than seeing one of my kids happy. We got our tickets and passes at will call and then settled in for what turned out to be a blowout. Chicago beat Phoenix 7-1 and Patrick had a goal and an assist.

Happy to see Patrick play well, I led Nathan downstairs with a smile on my face. We took up our usual position in the hallway to wait for Patrick to come out. I hadn’t thought about it until I was down here, but now I felt a little awkward. I’d met some of these girls a while back when I’d gone out with them, but it had been an off night for me and I couldn’t even remember who was there or what their names were.

“Gabrielle, right?” a pretty girl asked, walking up to me a moment later. Oh, great, here we go.

“Yeah,” I replied, trying to figure out if this girl had been out that night or not.

“I’m Julia. I saw you out the other night with Patrick after the game, but I didn’t get to say hi,” she introduced herself. I forced a smile onto my face as I shook her hand. I didn’t miss the questioning look I got from Nathan.

“Yeah, it was a pretty chaotic night,” I returned.

“Don’t worry about it. It’s never easy to talk in clubs like that.” My stomach churned a little more at her statement as Nathan took in the interaction. Julia then turned to him. “Hi, I’m Julia.”

“Nathan,” he replied, shaking her hand as well. She looked like she was trying to make sense of my relationship to Nathan. He was obviously too old to be my son, but too young to be a brother.

“Nathan is a student at the school I work at. He’s a big Hawks fan and comes to some of the games with me,” I explained. She nodded and smiled.

“Why don’t you two come into the room? I’ll introduce you around and there’s plenty of food and drinks if you want some.”

We followed Julia into the family room. Nathan immediately made a beeline for the food that was set out on a buffet table, while I hung next to Julia. I looked around and saw that the room was really nice, with TVs set up around the room tuned into the channel that had the game on. Couches were set up so that you could easily see any TV and still talk to the others in the room.

There were many different options as far as food was concerned on the buffet table. I noticed that Nathan skipped past anything that looked remotely healthy and went straight for the pizza. He walked back over a moment later and handed me a bottle of water he had grabbed out of the cooler.

Julia did as she said she would and introduced or reacquainted me with the rest of the girls. As we talked a bit while we waited for the guys to come in after the game I realized that they weren’t quite as bad as I’d feared the night we’d gone out. They were all sweet and welcoming. They also didn’t have a problem including Nathan in the conversation and I could tell he was loving it.

“Patrick!” I heard Nathan exclaim. I turned around to see him walk into the room with a smile on his face. His eyes locked with mine for a moment and his smile grew before he turned his attention to Nathan.

I stayed back and continued to talk to Julia and let Nathan and Patrick talk a bit about the game. Even while I talked with her I had a hard time keeping my eyes off of the interaction between the two of them. Just watching Patrick really listen to Nathan and not have a problem standing there talking to him made my heart flutter. I’m not sure if he knew the impact he was having on Nathan, but I did, and I didn’t know that I’d ever be able to thank Patrick for it.

“It’s pretty late. I should be getting Nathan home since there’s school tomorrow,” I finally cut in.

“Well thanks for coming. I’m glad you got to see a good game,” Patrick said more to Nathan than to me. The three of us walked out of the arena together.

“I’ll see you guys later,” Patrick told us as we continued on towards my car. We called back our goodbyes and finished the walk in silence.

“Are you and Patrick dating?” Nathan asked as we got in the car.

“What? Why would you ask that?” I returned, not really sure what to say. I had the rule of keeping students out of my personal life for a reason.

“I heard the other girls talking about you being out with him after a game, you had fresh flowers on your desk last week, and I saw the way he kept looking at you,” he explained. I was so busted.

“You know, I don’t really think it’s appropriate to discuss my private life with a student,” I told him. He just smiled at me and laughed before settling back into his seat.

“Whatever you say, Miss Tunney.” I continued to drive Nathan home when my cell phone lit up. I glanced down at the text and couldn’t keep the smile off of my face.

You looked beautiful tonight. It took every ounce of strength in me not to kiss you in front of Nathan.

“Is that from Patrick?” Nathan asked. I quickly closed out of the text and put my phone down.

“Tell me what you have coming up this week in school,” I said, changing the subject. Nathan laughed again, and despite feeling my cheeks turning bright red, I laughed right along with him.

Chapter 14

I leaned against the wall in my bedroom with my arms crossed over my chest and watched as Paige laid out about a dozen different outfits on my bed. She was muttering to herself and switching tops to go with different bottoms. I felt like she’d rearranged everything and then put it back where it was.

“Okay, I can’t decide between these two,” she said, crossing her arms over her own chest. I looked down at the almost identical pairs of jeans and black tops.

“Uh, Paige, it’s the same outfit,” I told her. She whipped her head around to look at me in surprise.

“They’re not even close! It’s a good thing you have me here to help you out. Otherwise you might walk out that door looking like a hot mess.” I rolled my eyes at her but kept quiet and let her decide.

I’d already listened to her debate about the type of bottoms I should wear. No dresses or skirts because I was just going to his house. Leggings were probably out because I didn’t want to look like I was trying too hard. Jeans seemed right, but they had to be dark, and she just wasn’t sure what style. Skinny or wide leg? Eventually she’d chosen skinny since wide leg seemed to be a more professional look and I apparently wanted to look comfortable. It had given me a headache.

If it were up to me I would have grabbed a pair of boot cut jeans and a sweater, but I guess that wasn’t good enough. I don’t know why she insisted on dressing me every time I saw Patrick. Wasn’t he going to figure out eventually that I just didn’t give a shit about trends and style? He’d just have to be happy being around a girl that lived in yoga pants and t-shirts when she wasn’t working if he wanted to be with me.

“I think this one. Go try it on,” Paige ordered. I grabbed the outfit and made my way into my closet to change. I glanced at myself in the full length mirror and decided that it worked perfectly fine.

“How do I look?” I asked when Paige came in to inspect me.

“It’s a winner!” she exclaimed, clapping her hands together. Then her smile faded. “Shoes. What shoes are you going to wear?”

In complete horror I followed her out of the closet and watched as she dumped a bag of shoes onto my floor. Oh no, we weren’t going to do this with shoes now, were we? I settled back against the same spot on the wall as before as Paige took each pair and held them out to my feet to decide. Finally she settled on a pair of flats. It didn’t matter to me, I was probably going to kick them off as soon as I got there. Not only did I not want to trample dirt around Patrick’s place, but I didn’t like wearing things on my feet. It was too confining.

I humored Paige a little more as I let her do my makeup. She explained the entire time about how to wear makeup that made it look like you weren’t wearing any. I couldn’t see the point, but I let her go. I drew the line at the makeup, however. She wasn’t getting her hands on my hair. I was going in a simple ponytail whether she liked it or not.

“You know, I have to admit, the ponytail actually looks cute on you right now,” she said in surprise.

“See? Less is more,” I replied. I helped her pack up her stuff and we walked out to the parking lot together, Loxley in tow. Patrick had said I could bring him.

“Have fun,” she told me with a wink and a smile before getting in her car. I gave her a wave and got into mine.

The nerves didn’t hit me until I started on my way. The second my GPS started giving me directions to Patrick’s house, I felt like I was going to be sick. I couldn’t for the life of me figure out why I was always so nervous to see him. It was ridiculous, really. He obviously liked me if he wanted to keep seeing me, so there was nothing to be nervous about. Only I did know why I was nervous. It had been that kiss.

I hadn’t been able to stop thinking about that kiss since it had happened more than a week ago. Add in what Paige had told me about it and it only made me more nervous. If what she had said was true, then that meant there’d probably be another one. Only this time it was going to be at his house. Oh God, was he going to expect more?

Maybe going to his place for dinner wasn’t such a great idea. I was not at all ready to be sleeping with the guy. It had been years, literally, since the last time. Even then it had been awful. What if he tried? Was he going to hate me and kick me out and never want to see me again if I turned him down? Would he be understanding? Whoa, Gabrielle, getting ahead of yourself a little bit. You haven’t even gotten there yet.

I didn’t have much time to think about anything else. My GPS indicated that I had arrived as I pulled into the driveway of a nice house that wasn’t too big or too small. I turned off the car and took a deep breath before getting out and letting Lox out as well. Patrick opened the door before I’d made it all the way up the sidewalk.

“Hey, how was the trip?” he asked with a smile.

“Fine. Easy. My GPS didn’t get me lost,” I joked. He laughed and held the door open for us.

I walked in and Loxley and I were immediately greeted by his dog, Dudley. Dudley and Lox liked each other immediately and made their way further inside ahead of me. I took a few more steps inside and looked around. It was definitely a bachelor’s house, devoid of much decoration. It was still nice, in a very simple way, and I found myself imagining the little things I could add here and there to really make it inviting.

“I actually just got dinner on the table, so you have great timing,” Patrick told me.

“I do my best.”

He told me I could put my purse down on a table in the hall before leading me back into the kitchen. I spotted a couple of plates set out on a dining room table with some platters of food laid out. I also spotted a pile of dishes in the sink and the kitchen was spotless. I couldn’t help but laugh when I saw them.

“What’s funny?” he asked.

“Either you are the cleanest cook in history or you ordered food and then tried to make it look like you cooked it.” I was trying to be funny, but as soon as I’d said it I realized how bitchy it had sounded. Thankfully, Patrick laughed.

“Not fooling you, huh?” he asked. I smiled over at him.

“You did yourself in when you told me you couldn’t cook weeks ago.” He laughed and led me over to the table.

We talked and laughed while we ate and ended up lingering at the table long after we were both full. Lox and Dudley were sitting at our feet impatiently, eyeing the food still on the table. We’d fed them a long time ago, but apparently they still had an appetite. Just when I thought the evening was perfect, Patrick hit me with a bomb I hadn’t seen coming nor was I prepared for.

“Tell me about your family,” he said. My smile faded immediately and my stomach clenched. They were the absolute last topic I ever wanted to discuss with anyone.

“I told you. It’s just me,” I replied quietly. He looked at me sympathetically before continuing.

“I know, for nine years. I was just curious what they were like before.”

“Perfect,” I told him without hesitation. He smiled at me sadly. If only he knew. “My father worked, my mother was a stay at home mom. I had two older sisters, Rachel and Bailey. Rachel followed in dad’s footsteps and was a lawyer. Bailey was going to be a surgeon.”

I stopped talking there. My mind was wandering to a place I didn’t ever let it go. I took a deep breath and pushed those thoughts away. Now was not the time or the place to go there. Patrick seemed to sense how withdrawn I’d gotten and how much I did not want to talk about my family.

“So I usually take Dudley for a walk after dinner. I can wait until later if you’re not interested.” I smiled at him and nearly cried at the change of subject. It was uncanny how well he could read me so well so soon.

“A walk sounds great.”

Patrick and I grabbed both of their leashes and walked out the door together. I walked along with him as he led me through his neighborhood. We were quiet for a lot of the walk, but the silence was far from awkward. It was actually nice to just be sharing a quiet moment at night, walking our dogs. I noticed Loxley stop at a spot to sniff, and Dudley joined him. Patrick and I stopped walking as well to let them sniff.

“I’m not interested in dating anyone else,” Patrick announced out of left field. I whipped my head around from watching the dogs to look at him in shock. He was looking back at me with a curious look on his face.

“I’m sorry, what?” I asked. I wanted to be sure I’d heard him right.

“I really like you, Gabrielle, and I only want to date you. I’m hoping you feel the same way.” I was quiet for a moment, simply because I couldn’t make my vocal chords work. He kept his eyes on mine until I spoke.

“I do. Feel the same way, I mean,” I managed to force out. His grin grew and he lowered his face to mine.

“Good.”

Then his lips were on mine. I felt like they were on fire at the touch, but in the best way possible. My entire body went haywire as jolts of electricity seemed to spread through me. I lost track of all sense of time as we kissed, and I probably could have stood there on the sidewalk kissing him until it was time to die. Loxley jumping up on me jarred me out of that trance.

“Hey!” I yelled in surprise as I looked down at him. Loxley stood there, his tongue hanging out of his mouth, wagging his tail. I heard Patrick laugh next to me.

“I think they got bored,” he said. I laughed too.

“I should probably get going anyway. I have school in the morning,” I told him. He nodded and we walked back to his house.

I grabbed my things and he walked me out to my car. He kissed me again before I left and promised he’d call me tomorrow. I’m not quite sure how I made it home. I don’t think my brain started working again until I was in my apartment, changed, and in bed. I laid there in the dark, staring up at the ceiling, with Loxley curled up in his usual position near my feet.

Tonight had been one of the most amazing nights of my life, and yet there had been a blemish. I was more than overjoyed at the way the relationship between Patrick and I was going. Even so, I had my family clouding over that feeling. He’d asked about them, and he’d probably ask more the closer we got. The thought that in the near future I was either going to have to tell him about them or leave him to avoid the heartbreak of him leaving me had me crying myself to sleep.