Monday, July 26, 2010

Chapter 30

I closed up my notes for the day and got out from behind my desk. So far the first week of school had been uneventful, which was a nice change of pace. The last few years the first week of school had been crazy. I called out a goodbye to my secretary as I walked out of my office.

The hallways were mostly empty since school had ended at least an hour earlier. The only students remaining were one’s on a fall sports team. I stopped and talked to Paige for a few minutes before continuing out to the parking lot. I walked out of the door and dug into my purse for my car keys. When I looked back up, I nearly fell over in shock.

Standing there, leaning against one of the support poles in front of the school was Patrick. His arms were crossed over his chest, one ankle crossed over the other. The moment our eyes locked he beamed over at me. Completely forgetting where I was, I rushed over to him and jumped into his arms with a squeal.

“What are you doing here?” I asked, my arms wrapping around him in a tight hug.

“I decided to fly back a few days early to surprise you,” he replied. “Surprise!” I laughed along with him.

“I’d kiss you if I wasn’t still on school property,” I told him, unable to keep the smile off of my face.

“Then let’s go.”

He got into his car and followed me back to my apartment. The second the cars were parked and we were out of them, we were in each other’s arms. I didn’t care that we were standing in the middle of the sidewalk outside my building, I just cared that Patrick was back and his lips were on mine.

We managed to fumble our way into the building, up the elevator, and to my apartment. I felt like a giddy teenager, but didn’t care at all. As soon as we were inside he had my back pressed up against the door, our mouths seemingly unable to pull apart. I felt him untuck my shirt from my pants, and shivered when his hands skimmed over my stomach.

“Have I told you how beautiful you looked yet?” he asked between kisses.

“Have I told you how happy I am to see you?” I returned.

We left a trail of clothes leading from the entryway to my bedroom. My head was spinning like it wasn’t getting enough oxygen, or maybe too much of it. His touch felt electric and I felt like I’d die if he ever stopped touching me.

“What are you doing this weekend?” he asked me later, as we lay tangled up together in bed.

“I was just going to relax after the first week of school,” I answered, placing a few kisses along his jawline.

“Then pack up some stuff. You’re coming to my place, and I don’t plan on letting you out of my sight until Monday morning when you go back to work.”

I did what Patrick said and packed a bag of stuff, including work clothes for Monday. Then I grabbed some of Loxley’s stuff and we headed out. I followed Patrick back to his house, where Loxley was overjoyed to be reunited with Dudley. While they ran around the backyard, Patrick and I sat and watched them, hands intertwined, talking about the past month.

I spent most of the next day helping him unpack and get settled back in for the season. He argued with me through most of it, telling me he could do it himself, but if I was going to stay here, there was no way I was digging through boxes for anything. At one point Patrick stopped me from unpacking a box.

“I have something to show you,” he told me. I looked at him skeptically as he took my hand and led me back towards his bedroom.

“I think I’ve already seen it,” I joked. He just rolled his eyes at me.

To my surprise he took a detour and led me to the door of one of the guest rooms in his house instead of his room. I looked at him in confusion and waited for him to say something. Instead he just smiled at me before slowly turning the doorknob and opening the door. When I looked in, my breath caught in my throat.

The bed that had been in there was gone, replaced by an easel. The dresser was replaced with shelving that held an assortment of paints and brushes. A desk and small couch were the only other furnishings in the room. I stepped in and inspected the selection on the shelves and found that he’d gotten the same stuff I always used.

“It’s so you can paint if you want while you’re here,” I heard him say from the doorway.

Tears filled my eyes at the gesture. He knew how much I enjoyed painting and how therapeutic it was for me. For him to convert an entire room in his house into a studio just for me went above and beyond what anyone had ever done for me. A strange new feeling seemed to overtake me, and I wasn’t quite sure what it was.

“What? How? When?” I blabbered.

“Yesterday while you were at work,” he explained.

“Thank you,” I choked out, when I finally turned back to him.

He closed the distance between us and pulled me into a hug, placing a kiss on my forehead in the process. I clung to him as the tears slid down my cheeks. My whirling emotions were getting the best of me right now and I was struggling to understand what this new sensation was.

All I knew was that my heart was pounding, my head was spinning, and I felt nauseous in an almost pleasant way. This was something I’d never felt before and I wasn’t used to not being able to rationalize my emotions. I pulled back a little and looked up at him. As I looked into Patrick’s eyes he took a hand and gently wiped the tears away.

I saw something then, swimming in his eyes that made me understand. I felt like it was suddenly plain as day and like I should have known all along. The word pounded through my brain. Love. This was what being in love felt like. I let my hands fall away from around Patrick as I tried to swallow back the lump forming in my throat. Suddenly the nausea wasn’t so pleasant feeling anymore.

“Are you okay?” he asked, concern replacing what I’d just seen in his eyes. I nodded even as I backed away from him.

“Yeah. I think so. I’m just so surprised,” I lied. He smiled at me again and pulled me back in to him.

I had been hit way too suddenly with this realization to be okay in the least bit. He tilted my chin up so that I was looking at him again and he lowered his mouth to mine. As I kissed him back I fought the urge to pull away and run. I wasn’t prepared for this. I wasn’t ready for this to be happening.










Patrick lay awake, Gabrielle in his arms. She was tucked into him, fitting together like two puzzle pieces that belonged. He could smell the light flowery scent emanating from her hair, and while that usually was enough to put a smile on his face, it wasn’t doing the trick tonight. Instead he was wondering if he’d gone too far.

He didn’t know why it hadn’t occurred to him that setting up an extra room in his house strictly for Gabby’s use would get to her. At the time he’d just thought that she’d appreciate what he’d done for her. When he saw her reaction he knew what he’d actually done. It was like he could actually see every emotion she was feeling clear as day.

At first when she’d seen the room, he could see how happy and appreciative she’d been. She’d been shocked and yet overjoyed by it. When she’d clung to him, the tears in her eyes, he’d been right there. He’d almost blurted it out. He’d almost told her that he loved her, forgetting what she’d said to him months ago.

He knew she felt it too. He could read it in her eyes when she’d looked up at him and he’d wiped the tears away. He could feel her rapidly beating heart as she was pressed against him. Seeing that look on her face, in her eyes, had almost cost him all the progress he’d made with her.

It sounded strange, but he felt like she knew he was about to say it. His mouth was about to open to tell her when he saw fear wipe away all other emotions on her face. Her body had stiffened and she’d backed away from him. He could see the inner turmoil over what was happening written all over her expressions. She’d told him that she was okay, but he knew that was a lie.

He also knew that calling her out on it would have been an even bigger mistake. She’d told him not to fall in love with her. It was too late for that, but then again he’d always felt that she’d actually meant she didn’t want to hear him say it. Now he knew that she wasn’t ready for it. She wasn’t ready to hear him tell her that, even if he was positive she felt the same way.

And that was something else. He didn’t think anyone else got to be as lucky as he was. He got to actually witness the moment when the girl he was in love with fell in love with him. He could see it happen. It was a moment he wouldn’t soon forget.

Suddenly, he was yanked out of his thoughts when Gabby bolted upright in bed with a yell. She ripped herself from his grasp and struggled to get her ragged breathing under control. He could see sweat glistening on her brow in the moonlight shining into the bedroom.

“Hey, Gabby, it’s okay. I’m here. You’re okay,” he told her gently, calmly, as he reached out for her.

She let him pull her back into him. He held her as her body shook from whatever nightmare she’d just had. Like he’d done a few times before, he pressed his forehead against hers and placed her hand on his chest. He didn’t have to say anything. She understood what he was doing and her breathing soon returned to normal.

“I’m sorry,” she apologized in a whisper.

“You don’t ever have to apologize to me,” he responded.

She looked up at him for the first time and he saw it there again in her eyes. This time he wasn’t going to make the mistake. He didn’t want to see her love for him disappear again. Instead he placed a kiss on her forehead, the tip of her nose, and then her lips before pulling her back down to the bed. He wrapped his arms around her as she rested her head on his chest. He waited until she couldn’t see his eyes again before he let the thought run through his mind. I love you, Gabby.

Monday, July 19, 2010

Chapter 29

I walked up to the gate at the airport and sat down. I was ridiculously early for my flight to Ontario and had a lot of time to kill. As I pulled out a book to read while I waited I realized that I was much less distressed about flying this time than I was the last time. I almost laughed when I thought about my first trip to Thunder Bay.

I’d come a long way in the last 8 months, I thought. Part of the reason I’d shown up to the airport so early was because I was afraid I’d start getting really anxious and I wanted to give myself time to calm down before the plane took off. The other reason was that I was just simply excited to see Patrick again.

It had been just over a month since I’d seen him last. He’d left Chicago two weeks after they’d lost and I didn’t see him again until the second week of July. He’d flown out for a week. Since I was working we had fully intended on him using his house, but that hadn’t happened. He only went there to check on things before heading straight back to my apartment. It was a strange but nice feeling to have him there when I woke up in the morning, and when I got home from work.

I had somehow convinced myself that saying goodbye to him when he’d flown back home wouldn’t be that difficult because I was busy with work and I’d be seeing him in a month. I was mistaken. The second he was out of sight at the airport I’d started bawling, to the point where someone employed at the airport asked me if I was okay. That was a new feeling.

Now I was checking my watch every two minutes to see how much time I had left until I’d see him. All I knew was that if my flight was delayed I might kill someone. Finally the call to board the plane came over the loudspeaker and I took my seat next to the window. A man took the seat next to me and I gave him a polite smile before turning my attention back out the window.

I kept my eyes glued to the action outside, willing the plane to start moving. I didn’t turn my attention from the window until we were high up in the air with just the clouds for a view. Figuring time would go by faster if I didn’t just stare off, I pulled out my book and attempted to read.

“Do you mind if I work on my laptop?” the man next to me asked. I smiled and shook my head.

“No, go right ahead,” I told him.

“Business or pleasure?” he asked. I understood the question and my smile grew as I thought about the answer.

“Pleasure. I’m going to go ahead and guess you’re business?” He laughed at the assumption.

“What gave it away?” he joked.

We chatted for a few more minutes before he got to work and I got back to my book. I continued to check my watch constantly, just unable to concentrate on the words in front of me. When I heard the captain announce our descent I nearly jumped out of my seat in excitement.

“You know, I’m going to be in the area for a couple of days. If you have time, I’d love if you could join me for dinner some night,” the guy next to me, whose name I’d already forgotten, said.

“Oh, that’s really sweet of you, but I’m flying in to spend the week with my boyfriend,” I explained. He gave me a knowing smile before apologizing and we spent the rest of the flight in silence.

Once on the ground I waited impatiently for the passengers ahead of me to clear out so I could get off the plane. I practically ran to customs to try to cut off as many people as possible. Once through I made my way towards baggage claim. As soon as it was in sight I spotted Patrick leaning against a wall. My heart started to race as a smile spread across my face. His eyes locked with mine, and I saw a smile form on his as well.

“About time you got here,” he told me before pulling me into a lingering kiss.

“It took forever,” I murmured against his lips. We kissed again and I felt that butterfly feeling in my stomach. God, I’d missed that.

“If we don’t get out of here now, these people are going to get a hell of a show,” Patrick whispered. I grinned up at him and backed away.

“Then keep your hands off of me until I get my luggage and we get to your house.”

It was an agonizing wait for my luggage to finally make its way out, made even more agonizing by the fact that Patrick just couldn’t keep his hands to himself. We’d talked every day since he’d left, but it wasn’t the same as being in the same room. Patrick grabbed my suitcase and carried it out to the car before speeding back to his house.

“So my family would love to see you at least once while you’re here,” he told me later that night. I felt warm memories of Christmas flood back into my mind. They might not have been so warm at the time, but now I could appreciate them.

“And I would love to see them, as long as you don’t make me get out of bed quite yet,” I replied.

“Oh, trust me, you’re not leaving this bed anytime soon.”

The next night Patrick and I got ready and headed over to his parents’ house for dinner. His brother, sister-in-law, and their new son were going to be there as well. I wasn’t nervous or anxious at all about the upcoming night. In fact, I kind of looked forward to it. I knew that I’d been accepted by them the last time I was here, and it was nice to think that I was sort of a part of a family.

“Gabrielle, hi! Come in, come in!” Patrick’s mother called to me in greeting as we walked up the sidewalk. She gave me a hug as soon as I was on the porch, and I couldn’t help but grin at the welcome.

“It’s so nice to see you again, Elise,” I replied when I followed her into the house.

The rest of Patrick’s family were in the living room waiting on our arrival. I smiled and greeted them all before my gaze fell on Faith and the infant she had in her arms. She was rocking him and smiling down at him. That was when the first hitched breath came. I hadn’t been expecting it so it took me by surprise.

“Are you okay?” Patrick asked me, noticing that my hand was now clutching at my chest. I turned to him and forced a smile onto my face.

“Yeah, I’m fine. He’s just so beautiful,” I said turning my attention back to Faith and playing off my reaction.

Chris and Faith both grinned over at me and thanked me. I forced feet that felt like they were weighed down by cement to carry me over to them. I did all the things that were expected from someone who saw a newborn for the first time. I complimented him, smiled down at him, asked how things were going, but I didn’t touch him. I may have been able to force air into my tightening lungs while I pretended I was fine, but I couldn’t bring myself to touch him.

Patrick, his father, and Chris disappeared somewhere and Elise went into the kitchen to continue making dinner. That left Faith and I alone in the living room. She talked about what the last few months had been like, but I couldn’t keep my mind focused on what she was saying. I kept flashing back to the only time I’d held a baby…..my baby. In the midst of my absent-minded smiling and nodding, I watched Faith get thrown up on.

“Oh, shoot. Gabrielle, could you just hold Caleb for me for a second so I can clean up?” Faith asked, not waiting for a response. Before I knew what was happening, I was holding Caleb, and alone in the room.

I practically froze, not sure what was going to happen. I felt the tightening in my chest start back up again and I felt myself start to shake so badly that I could literally see Caleb shaking as well. I didn’t know why this was happening now when I’d been able to play with so many of Patrick’s teammates’ kids, but it was.

I struggled to suck air into my lungs while simultaneously not dropping Caleb from my unsteady hands. I wasn’t ready for this. I thought I’d be fine and I obviously wasn’t. I didn’t hear him come into the room, but suddenly Caleb was out of my arms and in Patrick’s. He turned and walked out of the room, returning empty handed. I felt him take hold of my arm and pull me off the couch.

“Let’s go outside,” he whispered. I merely let him pull me out the front door, down the driveway, and then the sidewalk. When we were out of sight of his house he put both hands on my face and looked straight into my eyes. “Breathe, Gabby. In and out. Just like me.”

He put my hand on his chest and exaggerated his own breaths. Following his lead and his coaxing I felt myself start to take longer and deeper breaths, eventually matching with his pace. After a little while I was back to breathing okay, and the tightness was gone, replaced now by tears.

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I wasn’t ready,” I whispered as he pulled me into him.

“It’s okay. There’s no reason to be sorry,” he told me as he stroked my hair, comforting me in the process. “Are you okay now?” he asked after a while. I pulled back and nodded, the tears no longer falling.

“Yeah, I think so.” He placed a kiss on my forehead before taking my hand and leading me back to his parents’ house.

I gave my head a shake and took a deep breath before we walked back inside. Everyone greeted us with a smile as we all made our way into the dining room for dinner, not suspecting a thing. I made it through dinner with no more problems and did my best to focus on having a good time. By the time we left that night, the genuine smile was back on my face.

Thankfully despite seeing Patrick’s family a couple more times through the week, I never had another panic attack. Instead I had more fun than I thought I could have and was sad to leave when my time there was over. I only had one more month to go before Patrick would be back in Chicago for the season. It was all that kept me from crying through the entire plane ride home.

Tuesday, July 13, 2010

Chapter 28

So for some reason I can't add songs onto my playlist, which bums me out. So if anyone cares, the song for this chapter is Falling In by Lifehouse. You can listen to it here.....http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kO4WosPJbi0










The sound of my cell phone ringing jolted me out of sleep. Without much movement, I felt around the bedside table for it. I heard Patrick’s groggy groaning as he rolled over and pulled the blankets up over his head. I glanced at the clock and saw that it was only 9 at night. Patrick and I hadn’t intended on going to bed early, but we’d been tired and wanted to watch TV in bed. Obviously we had fallen asleep.

“Hello?” I croaked into the receiver.

“Aunt Gabrielle?” I heard my niece’s voice ask.

“Kaylen, is something wrong?” I asked, sitting straight up in bed. Patrick shifted and looked up at me with concern.

“I…..I don’t know…..” Kaylen’s voice trailed off.

“Are you okay?” I checked.

“Yeah, I’m fine.”

“Are your parents okay? Your grandparents, aunt? Quinn?” I added, my voice cracking on Quinn’s name.

“Yeah, I think so. It’s just…..something’s going on. Everyone’s here at my house,” she told me.

“I don’t understand,” I replied. Kaylen took a deep breath that I could hear over the phone.

“Grandma, grandpa, and Aunt Bailey all came over tonight. I was supposed to be in my room doing homework, but they never come over unannounced so I was curious. I heard part of the conversation, and I know something’s going on that’s not good. They were arguing with each other.”

“What were they arguing about?” I still wasn’t sure what was going on or why Kaylen was calling me.

“You,” she said.

My breath caught in my throat at the one word response. Why was my family arguing about me now? It had been months since Kaylen had showed up at my door, and I hadn’t done anything to try to get back in contact with them. It didn’t make any sense. If they wanted to talk to me, they would have done it then.

“What about me?” I asked.

“I don’t know. They were arguing over whether they should tell you something. I didn’t hear what it was. It seemed bad though. All I know is that they were considering going out to see you to tell you whatever it was. That’s how I know something has to be going on. I heard them decide not to though,” Kaylen explained.

I wasn’t sure what to do with this information. Something so significant had happened that the family who shunned me and then killed me was considering coming out to see me to tell me about it. I had no idea what that possibly could be. All I knew was they’d decided not to include me on the information, and even though it shouldn’t have, it hurt.

“Okay. I don’t think you have to worry. If it was really important they’d tell me,” I lied to Kaylen. I didn’t know if they would, but I didn’t want Kaylen upset. “Thanks for telling me though.” We hung up a minute later and I fell back onto my pillows.

“What’s going on?” Patrick asked, cuddling up next to me.

“I have no idea,” I told him truthfully.

I heard his breathing pattern change a little while later and I knew he was asleep. I, however, was not going to fall asleep anytime soon. Confusion mixed with pain and anger as I thought about what Kaylen had told me. I knew she meant well by calling to tell me something was going on, but I wished she hadn’t. Sometimes ignorance really was bliss. I forced my eyes closed and tried to clear my head so I could get to sleep. Eventually I did.










Patrick stood off to the side and smiled to himself as he watched Gabrielle smooth out the summery dress she’d put on. She never wore dresses and it was a sight he could get used to. She turned around and smiled when she caught him staring at her, a slight blush forming on her cheeks.

“What?” she asked.

“You just look beautiful, that’s all,” he told her. The blush got a little darker as she moved over to him, stood on her tip toes and kissed him lightly.

“You’re looking good yourself,” she complimented him. He caught her chin before she could turn away and placed a longer kiss on her lips.

“Are you ready to go?” he asked when they pulled apart. She nodded and followed him out to his car.

Ever since they’d lost out in playoffs, Patrick had been spending nearly every second he could with Gabby. He was heading back home in a couple of days and then he didn’t quite know when he’d see her next. He wasn’t going to waste any time.

He opened the car door for her and then got in himself. He followed Gabrielle’s directions to her school’s principal’s house. Every year after the school year was over, Isaiah had a barbecue at his house for the school staff to celebrate another year.

Gabby had told him he didn’t have to come, but he wanted to go. He knew people were probably going to bring up the playoffs all day, but he wanted to support his girl. He could suck it up for a couple of hours for her. At least he’d know both Paige and her boyfriend Harding were going to be there.

They arrived and Gabby immediately began introducing him to her co-workers. Much to his surprise and delight, they didn’t seem all that interested in talking hockey with him. You can ask any hockey player and they’ll tell you the last thing they want to do in the offseason is discuss hockey. He got a couple of questions about what it was like from a few of the men, but he knew that was inevitable since it was most kids’ dream to play a pro sport.

He happily made the rounds with Gabby, but mostly stood back and watched her. He knew that she didn’t think she had many friends in the world because she felt like she’d always closed herself off, but being here, he saw that wasn’t the case. If he could have guessed, he would think that everyone here loved her. Every person at the party made sure to say hi to her and ask how things were going. She was definitely well liked.

After a while he excused himself to go grab a drink from a cooler on the deck. He paused before heading back just to watch Gabrielle. It put a smile on his face to see her smiling. He felt a tug in his gut that confirmed what he felt. She was something special.

“I hope we’re not too boring for you,” he heard a deep voice say to him. He turned to see Isaiah walking up and grabbing a beer out of the cooler he was standing next to.

“No, not at all. Everyone’s been very nice,” Patrick assured him.

“Good. If anyone steps out of line, just let me know and I’ll have them fired,” Isaiah joked. Patrick laughed.

“I’ll keep that in mind.” Isaiah followed Patrick’s gaze out to Gabby and he let out a little laugh of his own.

“She is something special,” Isaiah told him.

“I completely agree.”

“A few years ago our school’s psychologist was retiring and we were interviewing for a new one. Usually I would have only considered more experienced candidates, but when Gabrielle’s resume came in, I thought ‘what the hell’ and set up an interview. The interview time came and passed with no sign of her. I tossed her resume into the ‘no’ pile and wrote her off,” Isaiah told him.

“So what changed?” Patrick asked, figuring this was as close as he was going to get to a proud parent gushing about their child.

“I left my office half an hour after he scheduled time to do a routine walkthrough of the school. I turned a corner and found a woman I’d never seen before talking with a female student who looked to have been crying. The student had been having trouble in school lately, so I started to approach, worried about the situation. Only before I got there the student hugged the woman before smiling and walking down the hall.

Not sure what was going on I asked the woman what had happened. She just told me that she’d seen the girl crying in the hallway and had stopped to find out what was wrong. She refused to tell me what they’d talked about, but seemed confident that the problem was resolved. When I asked her what she was doing in the school she told me her name was Gabrielle Tunney, and she’d been here for an interview she was now very late for and probably wasn’t going to get because of that. She didn’t sound the least bit apologetic.”

“That sounds just like Gabby,” Patrick interjected with a laugh. Isaiah nodded.

“I wanted to hire someone who really cared about the students. The fact that Gabrielle was willing to cost herself a job to help a student she’d never even seen before showed me what kind of person she was. I told her who I was, brought her back to my office, and did the formal interview, but I’d already decided she was hired,” Isaiah finished.

“What happened to the student?” Patrick asked curiously.

“I never found out what the problem was, but her grades went up, and she graduated top ten in her class.”

Patrick wasn’t at all surprised. He and Isaiah talked for a bit longer, but he kept his eye on Gabrielle. She turned towards the house and spotted him looking at her. She smiled and sent a little wave over to him that he returned. After hearing Isaiah’s story it became clear to Patrick what he’d been feeling all along. He was ready to answer Olivia’s question now, because he knew without a doubt. He was in love with Gabby.

Saturday, July 3, 2010

Chapter 27

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